Fat Bastard

A new favorite, but only because of the name.

If you haven't discovered, I love wine. I don't think that I have a problem, pro say, I'm just thirsty, a lot. Anyways. This past weekend we went to a Charity Event supporting the YMCA Boys and Girls club. It was a wine tasting. I didn't care where it was, or who went with me, there was wine, and the day ended in Y. It would be perfect. 3 hours and $80 later. I was no longer thirsty. We had a great time. Sampled some new wines, and enjoyed some old favorites. You can judge me all you want, but I supported a good cause. What did you do this weekend? Drink at home? Perhaps- you have a problem...

Another sampled winner

Garth's favorite- 3 years in a row.

Chris and Tonya, comparing notes....

This booth was promoting a brand of wine created, sold, and profited by a Catholic Priest. Now, I am not judging, but only in Wisconsin- right? I appreciate the play on words used. Creative.

This is 'Flood' after all the wine, and cocktails, and food. He is a professional, however; he doesn't like his picture taken as much as he likes to drink... Thanks for drinking with us buddy- we had fun!

P.S. I was taking these pictures with my IPhone in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. It is a new form of artistic expression.

Thinking

Laying here, watching Harry Potter, thinking-

'thank god Lucy is here with me, I am afraid of the dark, and Voldemort.'

Oh and, ...'wouldn't it be cool to have a magic wand? You know, for when you are stuck in traffic, or at Wal Mart.'

Words of Wisdom

Whenever I am having a bad day, look like hell, or both- my wise mother has always been able to bring me back to reality with her words of compassion.

"Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You have lots to be thankful for. You look terrible. Put on some lipstick. It will make you feel better, if not, it will sure make you look better."

Thanks mom.

Dear Jilly

My little sister and I have been working on working out our shit. We have put somethings behind us. Talked some shit out. And pretended some ugly shit never happened. Its what works for us. Don't judge.

She is growing up and learning that life is full of shit, and even though she can pretend our shit isn't there, she is appreciating that some shit happens and can be suffocating. I'm here to tell her, keep your head above water. Your legs might get tired from treading for hours, days, weeks, months, but you're a good swimmer- it will all be okay.

Hold tight to your iron rod. Remember to eat healthy. Exercise often. Go to class. Work. Save money for a rainy day. Study hard. Love harder. And appreciate all that is good. Be good to the people who are good to you. Be good to the assholes too, it will make you a better person. You can always hate them secretly and use voodoo to your benefit, when no one is looking.


Stay Glam and keep your chin up. Loves you. So does Lucy. And Hudson.

Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

My dad surprised the kids and came over on his lunch break to have a little fun. Who doesn't love a mid-day pillow fight and jumping on the bed?

Hungry Hudson

I like to think that I am teaching my children about independence and being self sufficient. I am after all, their mom. Not their slave.

If you are hungry, go get something to eat.

Can The Adults Have A Little Ice Cream With Their Rum? Please?

Whenever I go over to my friend Lisa's house, we have a great time. See post: Dance, Dance Revolution. But, we almost always, have food too. Not just food. But, pause, enter- angels singing, *FOOD*

The other night was no exception. She and I made, wait for it... Banana Foster Ice Cream Sundaes. Oh, yes we did! And with the left over rum, we had ourselves a cocktail. Don't worry, it was a Monday night and the kids were watching a movie, it was totally legit.


If you too would like to enjoy this delicious treat, you can- you know you want to!


Banana Foster Ala Mama Lisa

1/4 cup butter

2/3 cup dark brown sugar

3 1/2 tablespoons rum

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

3 bananas, peeled and sliced and diced

1 pint vanilla ice cream

1. In a large sauce pan, heat butter and brown sugar until melted.

2. Add vanilla.

3. Add banana.

4. Splash in the rum- then light it all on fire with a match. Oh yeah- bring the heat. Don't worry, we are fire fighter's wives, we are basically professionals.

5. Sprinkle cinnamon and let it cool and thicken.

6. Pour over vanilla ice cream and enjoy with a Rum and Coke. But you gotta hurry, the kids might find you.

Totally worth the calories. I am hitting the gym later today anyways.

Dear Dani-

After reading my cousin, Dani's, blog about her honeymoon to Jamaica. Pause. Sigh. Jealous. I wanted to provide evidence of my pure hatred of laundry. My arch nemesis.

For some more background information, check out Dani's blog at neverhalt.wordpress.com. You will get what I am talking about.

Back to the competition of who hates laundry more.

A (texting) conversation she and I had on this very topic, went a little like this.

Me: "My idea of good foreplay- Garth putting away all my laundry. Ah, now that is sexy."

Dani: "I'd probably sleep with anyone who would put my laundry away. Or at least slip them a *serious* tip."

This is for you Dani-

this is one of 3 baskets of dirty laundry, all with my name on them. Ugh.

Married mother of 3. Looking for anyone, to do my laundry. Pay is negotiable.

***Daddy- if you are reading. Don't be surprised. I am very busy. Busy, blogging.

P.S. Dani, about the lime green t-shirt/swimsuit idea. Brilliant. It has been negative temps and snowing here in the cheese head state, I would love a vacation.

An ICU Fiesta

Not always having time in our busy day, to pee, let alone enjoy a meal. My co workers and I decided to have a Mexican Pot Luck this past Sunday. That way, we could all graze like hungry animals, all day long. When we weren't busy saving lives and making a difference, duh.

Anyways, I made Chicken Enchiladas. Super Easy. Super Tasty.

Recipe-

4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts (prepared and cooked to your liking, and shredded)
Alternative: buy a chicken from your grocer's deli.
8 tortilla shells-  I like whole or ultra grain
1 can red enchilada sauce, mild
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 can whole kernel yellow corn, rinsed and drained
2 cans diced tomato
1 can diced green chilies
1 medium onion, diced
1 package of your favorite taco seasoning
4-8 oz sour cream, I use reduced fat
1 package of shredded Cheddar cheese

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. After making, or buying your chicken, shred into pieces and place in large mixing bowl.
3. Add everything else, easy right?
4. Mix.
5. Open tortilla shell, spread mixture in center.
6. Roll tortilla and place in glass baking pan.
7. Repeat, until mixture, and/or tortillas are all used.
8. Pour red sauce, evenly, over all the rolled enchiladas.
9. Cover with tin foil and bake for about 25 minutes, or until sauce is bubbly.
10. Uncover, spread cheese over the top, and bake until cheese is melted.
11. Enjoy, careful, it is probably hot. It did just come out of the oven.

Pairs well with Spanish style rice and veggies. I also like to pair it with a margarita. But not while at work.

My leftovers, yummy

Praise Jesus

Since teaching Lucy about "relationships," such as- her grandma (MeMe) is my mom and so forth, she has been very interested in everyone's 'full' name and their connection to her.

In this lesson, and when ever I am yelling, she has also learned her first, middle, and last name- Lucy H. S.

Thinking that everyone has the same middle name as her- she saw a picture of Jesus this week and squealed with excitement and recognition.

"Look mama, that's Jesus Haack Christ!"

Did she just praise the Lord and take His name in vain, all in one sentence?

I guess we will work on the Ten Commandments next week. And, I will work on my swearing- see post: New Year, New Me.

He's Just A Firefighter, I'm Just His Wife...

Last night, my husband and I attended a retirement party for four members of his Local 400. It was a beautiful display of brotherhood, honor, and compassion. The banquet hall was full of firefighters, old and new, their wives, and families. Pride ran thick through every one's glasses as toast after toast was shared. Stories of love, laughter, and loss. Grown men shed tears, of love and appreciation. It was a great night.

Wally, as everyone calls him, gave some gifts before he said his goodbyes. To JB, he left him his "official" firehouse lunch box. The one handed out to fire recruits, over 30 years ago. To Eric, he left the necessary supplies needed to make his famous dinner, the one he made every night for over 20 years. Dave, shared a napkin he kept in his lunch box for over 15 years, an IOU for a can of soda (the way firemen make bets). Plaques were awarded and helmets and shields honored.

Two toasts in particular stood out for me. One was given by Dave's 3 daughters. It was a compilation of memories, thoughts, and ideas- all that made them, A Firefighters Daughter. They beautifully shared their hearts as they fought back tears of the pride they had for their dad, a firefighter. Even though he missed some soccer games and Christmas dinners, they would never have asked for their dad to do anything else.

After this, Dave, shared a reading from a prominent Chicago Fire Chief. In this reading, this proud firefighter, brother, and hero, expressed what it meant to be... just a firefighter.

Am I just a firefighter when I leave my wife and children, without hesitation, to save my fellow man?
Am I just a firefighter when only I can feel the sorrow of seeing my fallen man?
Am I just a firefighter when I hold the limp body of a child in my arms?
Am I just a firefighter when I enter danger, no matter the cost?
Am I just a firefighter when I help to save a family, and their memories?
Am I just a firefighter?

Everyday is just another day. Garth's alarm goes off, and up he goes. Never thinking twice. When we are driving on the highway and pass an accident, he stops. No matter if we are late already. On the day our children were baptized, he was ready and willing to go and serve with his fellow brothers- a cold day in March, no one will soon forget. The night St. Louis church burned, he awoke to a phone call and left us with a quick kiss and promise to return. He is not just a firefighter, he is a brother- a hero. And I am not just his wife. I am his partner, supporter, and friend. I love him. For who he is, what he does, and what he stands for. And our kids think he is pretty cool too.

To the Local 400, retired and serving, go forth with pride. You are firefighters.

Stay Safe. God Bless.

A Swimsuit Kind of Winter

Today when I dropped Lucy off at school, her new teacher, Miss Deanna, stopped me in the hall way. Just so you all know, Lucy has been moved up to the 4K classroom, EARLY, I might add. Okay, anyways....

Miss Deanna and I are still getting to "know" each other and she seems to be less accepting of my lackadaisical parenting, at least less accepting (helpful) then Miss Jessie was. We are working on it. Give us time. We have ALL year. Lucky her (me).

Last week when I picked Lucy up from school, Miss Deanna reminded me that it was the responsibility of the parents to bring in snow clothes. A concept I am still struggling with. It is 3 degrees in Wisconsin right now. Shouldn't the kids play inside the gym, what ever happened to Heads Up Seven Up??? Anyways. So, today, I remembered snow pants, a snow coat, boots, and a hat. Miss Deanna smiled and thanked me. This is where I get back to our meeting in the hall way.

"Mrs. S! Do you have a minute?" She hollered down the preschool hallway.
Turning, sigh, "Suuuuuurrree..."

"Thank you for bringing in Lucy's snow clothes, now she wont have to keep borrowing the extra set Layla's mom brought in, but I noticed you forgot to bring in gloves..."

Annoyed and secretly hating Layla's mom, picturing her stepford wife-ish, patronizing ways. "Seriously. Thank God for the extra set of snow clothes!" I say to myself. Seriously!

 Smiling, I cut Miss Deanna off with a wave of my hand,"Its okay, if her hands get cold, she can put her little paws inside her coat pockets. She looses gloves anyways. Thanks Miss Deanna, see you at 2:30!" 

I jogged to the car, where I had the heat blaring and Hudson waiting, he and I both NOT wearing gloves either, by the way.

Maybe, instead of judging me, they could just be happy that I didn't drop Lucy off wearing this-

Personally, I see nothing wrong with this picture, do you? Yes, that is her swim suit, at least she has the snow boots on.

I cant wait to pick her up from school today...
Mis Deanna is probably going to remind me to take Lucy's sleeping bag home to be washed, again. Seriously!?!

Ice Pick To The Heart

Unless you have been living underneath a rock, or you live anywhere besides Wisconsin, you know that the Packers lost last night to the New York Giants. Thus ending their triumphant season, 15-1, and tearing them from their chances at Super Bowl Gold. You can only imagine the mood in Title Town USA. In one word- ugly. The radio was definitely singing a different tune this morning, as I drove Lucy to school.

Hearts, throughout out Green Bay, and Wisconsin, broke yesterday. Dreams of a repeat championship were shattered. I almost felt the need to make arrangements for a memorial or a wake. My patients (in an ICU) at work were screaming at the TV. This making me more nervous for their overall cardiac health.

Here are a few FB posts and that came across my News Feed (over the coarse of one night).

"Lets go Pack!" (this was for sure at the start of the game- the mood changes, dramatically)

Happy Packer Fans at start of Game. I think she is wearing a bra made of cheese?!?

"Sad, sad.... But we enjoyed watching a good season and in the grand scheme of life, it's one small detail. We will get through this Packer fans ;)"

"Lose the Rose Bowl, won't see the Super Bowl, who are the Milwaukee Bucks? At least we have Miss America."

"I will not moan and groan about my packers!!!"

"I found something better to watch than this Packer game. Channel 426 has a wicker basket weaving marathon today."

"Don't receivers get paid to catch the ball???????????"

"Everyone has a game plan until they get punched in the face."

"....Was cheering them on... but maybe next year you won't rest your starters 3 weeks before entering the playoffs." #irresponsible

"Genius game plan. Wait until you are down by 17 and five minutes left in the game then start to play. #Winning."

"If I expressed my feelings about the Packers right now, I probably would be banned from Facebook for life."

This is what I see when I close my eyes and listen to everyone complain

"Game over."

"I honestly don't think I can watch any more football. I'm having chest pain. Ugh... come one Packers."

"I think I'm going to chew the skin off of my fingers on this game :("

"Hey Rodgers! Discount double check."

"Given high expectations for 15-1 team, was Sunday the most disheartening loss in #Packers playoff history? #disappointed."

Okay, enough already. What happened? Who died? No one died? Then what the fuck are you all complaining about? Oh, the Packers lost last night? I had NO IDEA! I'm so sorry for your loss.

#bored
#really bored
#already moved on
#seriously

'Lucy'-fer

The other night I was putting away laundry in my room while Lucy was watching Beauty and the Beast on repeat. As I was digging through my drawer of Grannie pannies, Lucy began to gaze off to nowhere and calmly uttered,

"Mom, I see a lady over there." Pointing to the corner of my bedroom.
"What do you mean, you see a lady?" I ask.

"You know mom, like a dead lady." She repeated. Then she snapped out of it, and started to sing along with Belle and the Beast.

Shocked, but consumed with socks and underwear I shrugged it off.

Later, it got me thinking. I don't know whether to laugh at her imagination or call a Catholic Priest for help. Wait, can a "has been" Mormon call a priest? Maybe I should just cancel cable TV and hope for the best.

Who I am kidding? I cant cancel cable. Then how would I know which wig Kim Zolciak (RHOA) is wearing or how the Kardashians are keeping up? What would I do with my free time. Yeah, forget cancelling cable.

New plan- make Lucy wear a necklace made of garlic and ask my Catholic grandma (Nanny) to light a candle for Lucy this week. Catholics light candles, right?

Dilemma

This is gum I found in my favorite red shag carpet in my living room. I'd almost prefer to find it in some one's hair. A hair cut is a hella of a lot cheaper than new carpet.

For Sale- 3 kids, who can walk and chew gum at the same time. Gum included.

Mano e Mano

Just playing a little one on one basketball with my favorite little man.

It must be exhausting to be him, he better rehydrate.

Bribery, Threats, and Photos

After adding Hudson to our chaotic family, my husband and I decided it was probably time we did the "family thing" and have our family portrait done. I immediately turned to friend of mine who is a fantastic photographer/photojournalist. Enter Cara Zimmerman Photography.

We had a few conversations about my "vision" and a date was set. It would be perfect. Hudson would be 12months and we would get 2 birds with 1 stone.

We picked the big kids up from school and headed straight to the park for our family photo shoot.

It was down hill from there.

Kane didn't wear a belt or tie his shoes. Lucy refused (and screamed about wearing) the dress I picked out for her. She then demanded she wear her favorite leaf dress. My options were- force this incessant turd to wear the jean jumper and have terrible pictures, or let her win- again, and hope for better pictures. You can guess who won. No bribery or threat in the world was going to help me win this one. I was better off letting it go, and enjoying a nice glass of wine (and maybe an over the counter sleeping pill) when it was all done. Check and check.

Instead of hanging a beautiful portrait of my family above my mantle, I have decided to print and frame this photo. It is more us. Cara did a perfect job capturing our family. Thank you. This picture is my life. My life should decorate my walls.

Here are a few others that could soon be embracing my walls- what do you think?

She isn't photogenic at all...

For some reason I love this one, I think because it proves that Lucy just covers her ears and tunes me out....

evidence of threatening and bribing

Retreating home in defeat. You cant see my face, but I am READY for that wine, and sleeping pill.

Dance, Dance, Revolution? Circa 2012

This morning I took Lucy to preschool and headed over to my girlfriend's house. Lisa lives down the street from us, and our kids all play together. This morning, we placed our two little ones in the play room while us mommys played Wii Dance Fitness. We had a blast. We shook our booties like no one was watching, no one but Hudson and Farah, that is. It was great to let loose, and even burn a few calories with one of my besties! The babies had fun too-

I bet you thought I was going to show a video of me dancing, huh? Fools.

You are all welcome to leave me a link to some of your home videos though... Just saying.

Fashion Forward

If you follow along, you will remember a blog I wrote about my daughter, Lucy (see Girls Don't Wear Pants). And her stubborn ability make me crazy.

Lucy has come a long way in the past few months. She has agreed to, and fell in love with, wearing leggings- EVERYDAY. Don't get me wrong, she still dresses herself, beautifully, I might add. But, it is less of a struggle to get out of the house every morning.

My mother in law takes my kids about once a month for a long day of Grandma Fun. She spoils the hell out of them, loves them, and returns them like junkies fresh from Disneyland. It's perfect.

Look closely, she even accessorized with homemade jewelry.

This past weekend, Grandma Schuey took the kids to WalMart for a grocery run. This is a picture she sent me of Lucy.












This picture sums Lucy up in one word- SPECIAL. This was no "special" day. But, you can always count on Lucy to make any occasion special with her fashion sense. She is beautiful, and she knows it. If she would cooperate, I would probably try to sell her "image" to a print/modeling agency and make some extra cash.

As my mom would say- "Move over Kim K."

There is a new fashion diva in town, and trust me, there is NOT enough room for the two of you.

I'm tired of being crazy, it is just easier, and less expensive (less therapy and/or prescription drugs) if I just allow my little Lucy to be fashion forward.

The Way To A Man's Heart

I remember when I was little, my Grandma (GeGe) used to remind me- never let a boy put his hand on your thigh. She would then place her hand on my thigh and look me right in the eyes. Scary. When I would see her after school, she would ask things like, "Did you let any boys carry your books for you?" I would smile, and shyly say, "No GeGe, no boys carried my books today." She would Windex my feet (don't ask, just be glad that I don't do this to my kids) and then help me with my homework.

You need to remember that I was raised Mormon. I never felt the stigma of this, until years later. You see, I was grew up in Northern California- the second largest Mormon populated area, second only to Utah. Happy Valley. I went to school with all of my church friends. Spent Wednesday nights at "mutual" and summers at girls camp. Girls camp was not ANYTHING like you perverts are imagining it. It was worse.

As I got older, the interrogations from my grandma became harsher, the questions more unnerving. She would ask me if I was kissing boys, or if I had read my scriptures for that day. Unfortunately, my answer for both questions was, "No." She was both happy and disappointed at the same time. She would ask me if I needed a snack and I would nod. She would then continue to tell me that the only way to a man's heart was his stomach. I believed her. As I look back now, I think this was her way of telling me to never have sex, at least premarital sex anyways.

My whole childhood I struggled with this- everyone I knew who wasn't Mormon was talking about boys, make up, kissing, humping, and sex. When I went to church, we were taught in our Young Women classes, that sex was a holy sacrament between married men and women- for the purposes of producing children. As evidenced by: The Proclamation To The World. Forever I thought, and believed that sex was this scary thing that old married people did to make babies, only.

That all changed. I became an inactive member of the church when my family and I moved to Wisconsin. You see, the church is strong in California, strong in numbers. Out here in the Midwest, I was a member of a cult- and drinking beer, and having sex was way more fun. I learned to have my own voice, my own beliefs, I also learned how to make out with boys and dry hump (enter slippery couch in my parent's basement). You could call this the Evolution of a Mormon Slut? I also learned that the way to a man's heart is NOT his stomach. I mean no offense to anyone. This is where I make my point.

My little sister, Jillian, is still a strong and active member of the LDS church. She lives in Utah and attends BYU. I am very proud of my sister. Not for continuing with her faith, but for her strength in her beliefs. I admire her. She has always been able to say, and live by, "Whatever, this is me. Don't hate me cause you ain't me."

As my little sister prepares to celebrate her 23rd birthday, with her very first real (and Mormon) boyfriend, I found myself sharing a little bit of my relationship wisdom with her. I am no relationship guru, I have no idea how to make a Mormon relationship grow, hell- I don't even know how to group date and sit a Book of Mormon distance apart. I prefer to make out and/or dry hump like the rest of the world. But, I admire my sis. She has decided to save herself for marriage.

Anyways, based on a conversation that Jillian and I had a few days ago, I went through my house to find things that would cheer her up on her bday, but also respect her beliefs about sex. I love to give and get gifts that make me laugh. I turned my bedroom and bathroom upside down, in search of condoms. I knew that Jillian wouldn't need them, but due to curiosity, I wanted her to be prepared. The thing was, the only ones I found were expired. YES, Jillian they can expire. Always check. So, I moved on. I found a few other things that could help with her birthday weekend, but also encourage her to stay true to who she is and what she believes.

So, short story made long with nonsense, I wanted to wish my little sister a very happy birthday. Enjoy yourself, but not too much. Remember, Jesus is watching- Hand Check! Just kidding. I love you. I hope you and Darin have a good weekend. Stay safe.

Oh, and when you are ready, little sis, I will be here to tell you the real way to a man's heart. Sister to sister.

TV, Food, and Sex

This might sound like the hierarchy of needs for the male race, but keep reading.

I recently read an [study] article, albeit it was in COSMO, but it was an [study] article non the less. This [study] article was discussing the bad habits of women and how to avoid them in the new year. Basically, it was COSMO's challenge to women for 2012. It was ridiculous. I know that the majority of the demographic reading COSMO is either too young to be reading it, too horny, or has nothing better to do since they are not getting laid at all- but, seriously???

1. Women who eat their meals and/or snacks in front of the TV tend to eat 40% more food in a day than those who don't watch TV.
-Personally, I love to watch TV and eat food. I guess I am doomed.

2. 20 ways to make your hot bath hotter. This obviously went on to discuss turning your man on (cause we need to do more of that) and SEX.
-Personally, I love a hot bath. I don't need help making it hotter. I always come out looking like a lobster. And when I draw baths for my kids, they squeal like lobsters. I'm good.

3. Make small, achievable resolutions for 2012......[like] Wear earrings every day, or make a dream board, or utilize your daily commute by listening to a friend's indie play list.
-Personally, my [small] achievable goals would look more like: wake up and get dressed, everyday. make my bed. find my missing earring, the one my son or dog probably swallowed. clean off (out) my fridge [my life board]. as far as music goes- anything not big time rush or Nickelodeon, bring it on.

So anyways, I guess I should turn off my TV (computer) and have sex with my husband.

Thanks COSMO.

Who Doesn't Like To Go Down On A Corndog?

After over hearing a phone conversation between two of my favorite people (hello J and T)- them mostly arguing over the diet habits of their children and T, I sat down and looked through the local paper for coupons for my week of meal planning (don't ask- it's the ex-Mormon in me). When J got off the phone with T, rolling her eyes and laughing, we started to talk about corn dogs.

The conversation led to me saying, "I have a confession to make, I enjoy going down on a good corn dog every now and then." J gasped, and quickly said- "ME TOO!!!! My favorite part is the outside."

Laughing, "Lucy peals off the outside of her and shares it with me," I giggle.
"Mady does the same thing!!!!"

Continuing to laugh in our similarities, we shared the coupon ads and enjoyed one last energy drink of the night while finishing some charting at work.

You see I spent the first 3 years of my adult life (as a mom) strictly forcing myself and my family to adhere to a rigid diet. One that was high in organic, natural produce, and low in anything else. I was in the best shape of my life, but my kids (and my husband) longed for flexibility and some Red Food Color #40.

When I was pregnant with Hudson, I fell off the organic wagon- HARD. I mean, the wagon tipped, and rolled down the hill, into a huge pond of Blue #2, mixed in with a little Yellow #5, and oh yeah- Red #40. I craved anything and everything. Before I new it I was enjoying things I hadn't had since I was a little girl. I even had a Slurpee.

Anyways, I'm getting off track. All this talk about healthy foods, and my recent return to the gym and my strict diet, got me thinking, er *judging* the moms who wont let their kids even breath artificiality. I have learned to relax my ways and enjoy the *finer* things in life. Will a little moderation kill anybody??? My kids are forced to eat their veggies, drink at least one glass of milk a day, fruit for snacks, but you know what???? Tonight, I brought my Lucy a treat home. A bag of Red and Blue popcorn from the open house we had at work today. She was thrilled, and you know what??? She is just fine. She didn't grow an extra arm or a third eye. Her lips may be stained blue, but hey- a third eye would suck worse. Will her having a special treat, or ice cream for breakfast when no one is looking, affect who she becomes when she is 30? No. I think teaching your children "moderation" and healthy habits is way more important.

My mom always told me that my siblings and I grew up on Kool-Aid, Cheerios, and Otter Pops, and potatoes from a box (we don't have anyone in the family with any extra limbs, or permanently stained lips). Sorry mom, your secret is out- "POTATOES" OUT OF A BOX ARE NOT POTATOES, and probably don't even count as a vegetable.

So as I blog my opinion and finish my Monster Energy drink (Yellow #5), I encourage everyone to chill out with me, and enjoy a good corn dog- they are are on sale 2/$6 at Pick 'N Save. If you need a coupon, holla back, this mama will hook you up.

Jumpsuit Apparatus- A PSA

Attention, this is a Public Service Announcement.

Do you belong to a gym?
Does your gym membership include a locker room, showers, etc?
Do you USE the gym and the locker rooms?

Than this is for ALL of you....

Calling all gym patrons- please be conscious of your clothing attire while partaking in lifestyle modifications. I applaud your dedication, your hard work, the time and energy you are devoting to your health. BUT- please wear clothing that is appropriate for a PUBLIC gym. This is NOT your private work out oasis.

Case in point- 60ish woman who looks like my college psych professor: Please find your natural hair color (I promise you, it is not that "red" color you have now). You don't need to put on a full face of make up. I don't think that there are many "fish in your pond" here at the gym, and besides, blue eyeliner is never a good look. NEVER. And, finally, that jumpsuit apparatus that you are working, it's NOT working. It didn't work for Olivia Newton John back in 1981 (along with the blue eyeliner) and it is not doing you any favors now. I don't appreciate the butt floss over the jumpsuit either- it's distracting.

To this same (attractive) woman, I ran into you again, in the locker room. This time, I had my daughter, Lucy, with me. If you choose to disrobe, and be naked, in the open, I CAN NOT promise that my daughter will not stare and/or point at you. She is 3 1/2. There are showers that are available, you can change your clothes behind a curtain, or a door, or whatever. There is no need to stand naked in the middle of the locker room. I am not trying to be rude or a prude, but come on! I am not going to scar you by taking my clothes off, pay me the same respect, it is only fair. It is at this time, and this time only, that I would prefer you to wear that jumpsuit. The End.

On a different note. After working out (thanks to Laura for a killer hour of Body Pump) I walked to pick up my kids. I was greeted at the door by two very anxious YMCA workers. Each fighting to find the right words, I asked, "Is everything okay?"

The older child watch lady responded with, "Um, we have an incident report we need you to fill out." Concerned, I quickly scanned the room, I saw both of my kids- alive and well.

"Okay, what happened? What did Lucy do?" I asked.
"Oh, she was fine. It was Hudson. He uhhh.... Why don't you explain?" She said turning to the younger, much more excited worker.
"You see, the child watch room echos really bad, and you see, Hudson was playing by the baby gate and he got his fingers stuck. And because of the noise, and the echo, I couldn't alert her (gesturing to the other lady) fast enough. So, he had his fingers stuck for quite a while. I put ice on his hand, and he only cried for a minute."

Sighing relief, I looked at the two women, who appeared very concerned for the well being of my child, and said, "Oh that's it? Okay, I can handle that. Where do I sign?"

The women looked at each other and then back at me, "We really appreciate your understanding, we apologize and we have alerted administration of the need to improve our child area. Thank you for being so kind."

So there I went, I signed the "incident report," scooped up my kids, all bundled up in their coats and hats and off we went. Hudson had a few tears in his eyes, but he was alive- pink, warm, and dry is what I always say. Looking back I thanked the child watch workers and said, "As long as my kids didn't do anything to get us kicked out, I'm all good."

Nothing a little juice and kiss from mommy couldn't fix

This got me thinking, maybe they should spend more time enforcing a dress code and less time scaring their employees about pinched fingers. I mean, lets be real, Hudson lives with Lucy and Kane. A pinched finger is NOTHING!

A New Year, A New Me

Driving into the gym this morning, I was angered by the fact that there was NO PARKING, at least close to the door that is. Obviously, the whole town has made a NEW YEARS RESOLUTION to get fit, and they started TODAY. Now, instead of becoming irritated by having to walk a little bit further, in the cold, at the gym, I should applaud all those new comers, and make a resolution of my own.

Having never made a real resolution in the past, and since most of the "good" resolutions have been taken, as evidenced by the full parking lot, I decided that I would compile a list- a list of things that I could improve upon in the new year. You know, to be a better, well rounded individual....

1. Smile more
2. Laugh more
3. Swear less, I have a mouth like a sailor, and I kiss my mom with it too....
4. Be kinder. I tend to be quite sarcastic, and when I get angry, I get mean. It is not becoming of me, and I need to work on it.
5. Continue to exercise 4 times a week. I know, I know, I had to throw that one in too.
6. Set aside more time for my husband, when my kids go to sleep- of coarse.
7. Work on my relationship with my little sister. We have come a long way in the last few months, and I look forward to spending more time with her in the new year. I love you, Jillian.
8. Set aside time to work on my correspondences with my friends and family, both near and far. To all of you, I think about you all often, I will let you know more, I promise.
9. Be less of a procrastinator. I have signed up for some Grad Courses and I need to stay on top of them.
10. Take more pictures of my kids. They are only going to be little this one time. I need to capture the timeline of their lives a little bit better.

To my sweet children, I love you more than life itself, you are my everything. I wake up everyday because of you. You give me a reason to want to be a better person.

~"Before you were conceived I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were here an hour I would die for you. This is the miracle of love."~

To my amazing husband- Garth,
When I look back on the last 5 years, I can not believe how far we have come. 3 kids, 2 dogs, 2 houses, 2 careers, education, and lots of love later I can not imagine spending my life with anyone else. You are the best dad I could have ever given these kids. You are so patient and kind, even when my head is spinning and I am loosing my mind. You may think that I am the strong one, I'm not strong, I am just louder than you. You are the strong one. Your love is unconditional and beautiful. Your words are sweet and meaningful. In the new year, I promise to tell you more and show you more. Without you, there would be no us. Our family is complete- because of you. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives, and I couldn't ask for a better life partner. For everything you are and everything you do, I thank you.

All my love-
Your wife, Amanda
xoxox




And with that, I want thank all the people at the gym who made me walk a few more feet this morning. Those few feet helped to wake me up and appreciate my life. And you know what, you should all be proud of your new year's resolutions- getting to the gym is hard. Keep at it!

What were some of your resolutions???

Happy New Year, lets go out and make 2012 great!!!

From Wisconsin, with love-

Time Out- What's That Smell???

Alternate Blog Title- "Adventures in Zion"

After a hectic holiday season here in Wisconsin, my mom and I jetted off to Utah (aka Zion) to see my sister and some long lost family members (who are trapped in Zion).

After making and freezing 4 nights of meals, laying out laundry, arranging daily activities, and of coarse- packing my own bag, I kissed my kids goodbye, and off I went. My very first vacation with out my kids. I was nervous and excited. After all, the kids were being left in the very capable hands of my husband (their dad) what could go wrong??? I promised my husband that I would call "ALL THE TIME," and that he would be fine. With a loooooong kiss and a wink later, I was headed to the airport- music blaring and my mom changing the radio station whenever she pleased (that's not annoying at all!?!).

Enjoying a nice glass of wine

My mom and I are terrible travelers, and we almost never travel without our husbands. Arriving the airport and fighting about parking, we grabbed our bags and were ready to navigate our way to Utah. Meeting resistance almost immediately. You see, my mom had purchased a ticket for my Grandma to fly with us, after falling ill with "the pneumonia," she canceled her plans and stayed back. Excited to have one seat in between her and I, my mom planned to stretch out, take a tranquilizer and sleep her way to the promise land. Errrrrrrrrrrrrr, that came to a screeching halt, when a little Kim Kardashian wannabe sat in between us. After fighting, and getting no where with the lovely stewards, my mom put on her Ray Charles sunglasses and attempted to sleep, despite little Kim K flopping around in her seat like some D class celebrity. I laughed, flipped on my kindle and enjoyed the peace and quiet. After a stop in Denver and few glasses of wine later, we had arrived. Zion was just as we had left it, full of young Mormon couples greeting each other at the terminal gate- hugging, with the proper amount of Book of Mormon distance between them.

Mom and I gathered our bags and waited outside, surprised by the mild temperatures, for my little sister, Jillian, and my "Aunt" Darlene to sweep us up and take us "home."

The sounds of, "Who the F--- wears sunglasses at night????" came screaming around the corner, no worries- just our ride everybody. Darlene and Jillian barely parked the care before they came running towards us, with their arms open wide. As Darlene and my mom screamed like school girls, exhausted from traveling with my mom, I put our bags in the car. Soon, we could hear the Airport Police start to yell at us for reaching our time limit in the loading zone. The 4 of us, jumped in the car and sped off, all the while everyone fighting for the attention to be heard- above the radio of coarse. My mom and I looked at each other and at the same time asked,

"What's that smell??? It smells like old McDonald's."
Laughing, Jillian and Darlene, threw their heads back and yelled, "WE GOT SPRAY TANNED!!!"

Hoping that they looked better than they smelled, we all laughed and shared in the excitement of our travels and planned our fun week ahead. You see, we all had a lot to do this week, to include celebrate the wedding of Darlene's daughter, Dani. xoxox

Arriving at Jim and Darlene's late, we all hugged goodnight and made plans to meet around the coffee pot in the morning. Jillian, mom, and I made our way to the guest bedroom. This is what we saw when we turned on the lights. Ahhhhhh!!!!!

OompaLumpa Jillian- You look Good!

Unable to sleep next the smell of "old McDonald's," Jillian was booted out to sleep on the couch, while my mom and I tried to get comfortable with what we called "Shiatsu" pillows that were unforgiving and hard to sleep on. Grateful for a "free" nights sleep, we fell asleep to the sounds of Jillian chattering away, about what- I'm unsure.

Wednesday 12/28
0900- Wake up to Jim making Coffee.
We sat around the kitchen table as Jim (Darlene's "darling" husband) catered to our every need. The coffee was perfect and the company was even better :)
At around 1100, we all piled in to two cars and set out to Salt Lake City. We were going to meet up with Dani and her fiance Zack, and then head to get mani and pedi's.

To Dani and Zack- you have an adorable home, decorated perfectly. Your little dog, scout, is the perfect first addition to your new family. I wish you all the best in your new life, together.

The Infamous Peach Cobbler, totally worth all the calories

We enjoyed mani's, pedi's and girl talk. Laughed until we cried, or until Jillian wanted to slide into a hole from embarrassment. Jillian then took my mom and I shopping in Downtown Salt Lake and we enjoyed a delicious lunch and the most AMAZING peach cobbler dessert of my life!!!! My mom, sister and I almost never enjoy time alone, just the three of us. We really needed it, and I loved being around them. They may make me crazy, but I guess, it is a good kind of crazy.

This house was for sale down the street from the nail salon. This is what I like to call, Mormon Marketing.

Outside the PierPont

Hurrying home, we had a Rehearsal Dinner and a Bowling party to attend!!!! Nothing says "I Do" like a few pitchers of beer, pizza, and some competitive bowling!!! Sarah (Zack's mom) sure knows how to throw a party, almost reminded me of back home in Wisconsin, you know- where the party is at!!!

My bowling shoes, with skinny jeans- good look?

Bowling rules, We needed rules, but one question- are pants optional???

Look closely, you will see, I WON!

Mom and Darlene with their balls- and too much alcohol

Two Worst Bowlers

Exhausted and excited for the Wedding day, Jim took us home, and put all of his ladies to bed.

Thursday 12/29 WEDDING DAY ITINERARY
0800- Wake up to handsome Jim and his infamous coffee, Thank you!!!

Early on this day, Darlene held a little team meeting between all the women. All having strong personalities and with sarcasm staining much of the conversations, Darlene initiated a "Time Out." Anytime someone felt the need, they could call a "time out" and reset the situation and/or conversation. It made for an interesting, and laughable day.

0915- Darlene took me to the Local Fire/Metro Station, where I met Battalion Chief Rampton and some of his men. They gave me a tour of their beautiful facility and gave me a souvenir t-shirt for Garth (he collects blue fire t-shirts). I bought lunch for the guys, and they all wished Darlene good luck on her big day. They were all gentlemen and I am proud to say that I am married to a wonderful man who belongs to a strong and proud brotherhood of heroes. Stay Safe Bountiful.

Thanks for the t-shirt, Garth loved it!

Having time to kill, and more errands to run, we dropped Darlene off at the hotel to spend time with Dani and the bridal party. Jillian took mom and I to get lunch in downtown Salt Lake. TIMEOUT: Jillian NEEDED an oil change in her car, and being the poor college student she is, Mom and I ate lunch while Jillian negotiated with the young men of Jiffy Lube. Laughing, mom and I both sprung a few bucks to fill up Jillian's gas tank.

On our way back to Jim and Darlene's to get ready, I thought,
"Hey mom, why don't we stop and get a bottle of Asti to help put us in the celebratory mood????" Agreeing with my brilliant idea, my mom turns to Jillian (our chauffeur) and says,
"Take us to the closest Liquor store please!"

Now, with Jillian being LDS (Mormon) and the fact that UTAH is a DRY state, meaning, you can only buy liquor at State Stores, Jillian grabbed her IPhone, and googled mapped the closest establishment carrying any kind of alcohol. TIME OUT- After about 45 minutes of searching, screaming, and laughing so hard I think I peed my pants- realizing that mom had the map upside down, we had arrived at the local watering hole- The Utah State Liquor Store. Walking in, and immediately feeling at peace, my mom and I split up, on a mission. We found Stoli Vodka for only $15 a bottle, Asti for $11.98, and Tequila Rose for $9.99. Basking in our triumphant purchases, we sped home (Jillian being the world's worst driver), to get ready for Dani's wedding.

Proof that holding tight to the iron rod will lead you home

3 women fighting for one shower, one bathroom, 2 mirrors, and all the make up, hairspray, and curlers you could imagine led to my mom and I drinking the entire bottle of Asti a few shots of Rose, and A LOT OF TIME OUTS. The wine and shots were delicious. You may shake your heads, but we got ready with 15 minutes to spare! For us, that is a miracle, just ask my dad or my husband.

Jillian and I, after fighting for bathroom time

Aunt Darlene and Gma Joanne

Riding in the Car, Jillian and I in the backseat, probably on a time out!?!

As we made our way back into Salt Lake to watch the nuptials of Dani and Zack, we sang to the radio and rubbed Jim's bald head for good luck!!!

Jim, his girls, and his handsome bald head

Dani and Zack had a beautifully simple wedding ceremony, and were married by Zack's uncle. They shared their first kiss and the party began! We enjoyed great music, delicious food, and tasty cocktails. My favorite being, the Whipped Vodka and Ginger Ale. It was like heaven in a cocktail glass.

Doing shots after my time out from Ransom's GF

TIME OUT.  I apparently upset the lead singer in Zack's band's girlfriend by dancing with him. She grabbed him by the tie and put him on a TIME OUT. Poor Ransom, hopefully she is good in bed, or he is in for a long road with that girl.

We all over stayed our welcome at the wedding venue and then took the party across the street to the bar where Dani and Zack first met. It was the perfect way to the end the perfect day. However, I don't think Zion (Utah) was quite ready to party (drink) with Wisconsin up in the house.

Inside the photo booth at the wedding reception, after too many whipped vodkas

Drunk, tired, and drunk, we went home and passed out. Again, congrats to Dani and Zack- the wedding was the perfect way to show the world of your love for each other. Your families are equally lucky to each gain a new member. Now, I think it is time to bring on the babies!!!! Scout needs a little buddy.

Friday 12/30

Connie, Mom, Me in front of Connie's Beautiful Xmas Tree

Mom and I wake up, refreshed and ready (remember we are professionals) Jim and Darlene both wake up and ask, "Where is the whiskey truck that just hit me???" We laid around the house in our jammies and looked through old photo albums. Darlene and I shared a lovely, bonding conversation while Jim and my mom took naps. Later in the evening, my mom and I drove out to see dear friends of ours- Connie and Larry. Connie's daughters used to babysit me and my siblings. I used to think that Melinda was the prettiest girl in the whole world and wanted to be just like her. She became a Paramedic. This was my first insight into the world of health care, I like to believe that from that spark of interest, I became a nurse. It was great to catch up with Connie and Larry, as always, the trip was too short. Lots of love to you both!!!

We returned to Jim and Darlene's to find the dinner table set, the wine glasses out, and Jim serving up a five star dinner. It was DELICIOUS!!!! I have now found my new favorite way to eat sweet potatoes. Jim- please send me the recipe!!!!

Darlene, my mom and I enjoyed a nice soak in the hot tub, prepared by Jim, of coarse. We talked about life, family, and the future. We all made plans to see each other again, soon. We hugged and said goodnight.

Saturday 12/31
After a fun filled, busy, trip in Zion- we packed up and headed back to the Frozen Tundra. Wisconsin was waiting, and so was the worst flight from SLC to Denver. Altitude+Turbulence= SICK AMANDA.

3hours of layover in Denver, a few ginger ale's, and two Phenergans (anti nausea tranqulizers) later, I found myself passed out the entire flight home. I awoke to the freezing temperatures that I had nearly forgotten. I was greeted by my 2 darling children and my bed, minus the "Shiatsu" pillows from hell.

It was a great trip. I loved bonding with my sister, we have a long ways to go and a lot of memories behind us. Jim and Darlene were amazing hosts. I can only hope that you allow us the privilege to repay the same courtesy.

Dani and Zack- Good Luck and God Bless. Buckle up, Marriage is a bumpy ride, I'm sure you will stay in the carpool lane and play frogger through all the traffic life throws your way. Remember that you can not sign on to forever with someone and not expect a few bad days. The bad will remind you of the good and help you to savor in the happiness of the moment. Your love is evident and strong, be good to each other, and always kiss each other goodnight.

Alright, TIME OUT- my daughter is coloring her bed with glitter markers and Hudson is eating dog food, I have got to go!

Happy New Year Everyone.
With love, From Wisconsin-
Amanda

P.S. The frozen meals are still in the freezer, along with 3 tubs of ice cream I didn't purchase. There are pizza boxes in the recycling, and toys EVERYWHERE. It looks like daddy did a pretty okay job without mommy?!?