Make Me a Witch

If you follow my blog, you have gathered that my daughter Lucy is never short of fantastic. She is eclectic, smart, beautiful, creative, and inspiring. Don't get me wrong, she can make me crazy with her stubbornness, but she is pretty amazing.

Well, recently she has been asking me to make her some, "beautiful princess dresses." She got some dress up clothes for Christmas, but that isn't what my Lucy is looking for. She has expensive taste and appreciates good quality.

Last night, while we were snuggling in bed of used Kleenex (Lucy has a cold), she looked over at me and with her nasally little voice, asked,

"Mom, can you make me a witch costume for Halloween?"

Lucy doesn't care that it is February or that we are far from trick or treating and caramel apples. Like I said, she knows what she wants.

Anyways, my point. I have decided that among all of my other talents (?) I would like to learn how to sew. That way, I can continue to show off to all the other moms in play group by making all of Lucy's costumes and dress up clothes. Make them with style and quality, just like Lucy deserves.

One problem. I don't own a sewing machine. Okay I have more problems than one... I am working on all of them, but after I master the art of sewing. For my little (witch) princess.

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it. Oh and, check on my husband every now and then. He tells a different version of our life together. Think of it as a "different" perspective. You can find him here. I love you G.

Okay, back to my Google search: sewing for dummies.

Jalapeno Tomato Bisque- Hold the Jalapeno

I love food. No, I really love food- good food. I love to eat. Since I have this problem, it is only imperative and cost effective that I make good food in my own kitchen. I cook like a crazy person. Crazy as in- messy. I cook and create without regard to the war zone I am creating around me. I am that passionate about food. Any questions? Good- lets get talking food. Where was I?

Oh yeah- This is an original recipe that I created after being inspired, touched, hearing angels sing- at my favorite little bistro by the lake. Nothing is better than enjoying my favorite Jalapeno Tomato Bisque, then maybe enjoying it with a nice glass of red wine. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh (angels singing, duh). Oh Garth!!!!!! Next Date Night, I wanna go to the Lake, wink wink.

Anyways, I have this friend, Tonya. I have mentioned her before (see post: soft wood is no good). She has been helping me with some home improvement projects. We basically tore off all the woodwork in my kitchen and are drywalling over it. Its no big deal, really. Just a small project. So I decided I would make her my favorite soup. One problem. Tonya is a sissy. Don't get me wrong, she is a hard ass, Army Veteran, mother of 3, nurse extraordinaire- but a sissy when it come to spicy foods. She Cant Take the Heat- if you know what I a mean. So, this recipe is altered to fit her fancy, spice and heat free. Sucks, I know. But, she is helping me demo my house.

Jalapeno Tomato Bisque- Hold the Jalapeno

1 can all natural petite diced tomatoes, drained

1 medium red onion, diced

minced garlic, to taste (I love garlic, and I don't know how to measure much)

1 stalk celery, chopped

1 small can jalapeno, chopped, no seeds (optional)

1 small can diced green chilies, drained (optional)

1/4 cup brown rice

olive oil to taste

butter to taste

salt and pepper to taste

your favorite tomato sauce, soup, stock- whatever

In large skillet, melt butter and live oil. Add tomatoes, onion, celery and reduce mixture until aromatic and tender. It should caramelize a bit, Oh My God, I am already salivating.  OK, get a grip.

When mixture is ready, and you can hardy stand to wait anymore, add in the brown rice. Cover and simmer for about 15-20 minutes. Trust me, it is worth the wait. Here is also where you would throw in the jalapeno and chilies, if you and your guests aren't complete sissy's.

Next, place entire mixture, while still hot in your blender. I have a knock off Magic Bullet Blender. No, it is not sexual in any way. But, after eating this soup I may want to have sex with my husband. I love it that much. Stop distracting me! I like this blender, It is easy to use and easy to clean. Both important.

When done, it should look like this.

Kinda like baby food, but better. Trust me.

Finally, you can mix your bisque with you favorite tomato sauce, paste, soup, or stock, and any seasonings to obtain the exact flavor and consistency you desire. Garnish and serve.

I am going to make crostini bread, when Tonya gets here with the bread, I am all out. Jealous?

In all seriousness, this recipe is easy to make, heart healthy, and delicious. What are some of your favorite recipes? Leave me a comment. I love to talk food. Can you tell?

"Oh My Heck!"

You can remember that one of my goals for the new year was to swear less. I have not met that goal. In fact, I am probably swearing more. Don't get me wrong, I am trying, but my kids make me crazy!!!

In attempts to swear less, I have been working on alternative "swear words/phrases." These phrases remind me of my Mormon friends. I even find myself saying things that they do, in hopes my habits will change and I will stop dropping the F-Bomb.

The reason behind this goal is simple. Lucy, my 3 1/2 year old, is saying things like:

"Grandma, where are my f***ing oranges?"
"Kane, pick up your S***!"
"Oh, Jesus Christ!"
"Son of a b****!"
"Oh Damn It!"

You may be shocked. You may be appalled. Quit judging me. I am not perfect. Neither are you. I am working on it.

Anyways, here are some of my new phrases.

"Son of a monkey!"
"SUGAR!"
"Oh, Sugar!"
"Are you kidding me?"
"Get out of town!"
and my personal favorite, an homage to my Mormon heritage- "Oh My Heck!"

What do you think? Leave me a comment and share some of your favorite phrases?

peaceandlove.
mamaschuey.

Land of Hudson

Hudson just found my baking whisk (see post cake pops). Now, if only he would lead me to the Land of TV Remotes and TupperWare Lids....

Cookies? Where?

Attention all Cookie Monsters!

 Now serving the (greater) Utah area. Cooper's Cookies.

Check out my girl's new business adventure, her favorite hobby, and her Facebook page here.

So.... for your next fundraiser, bake sale, (Mormon) Baptism, or family (home evening) night. Give Mindy a holla. She will hook you up.

Good Luck and Best Wishes Mindy. The cookies look GREAT!




-peace,
mama s.

Static Electricity

Lucy is way over winter. She thinks that by wearing her swimsuit and playing with water toys, she can somehow wish summer here. Good luck Lucy.

Ice Fishing?

A tradition here in Wisconsin is- ICE FISHING. Whether you choose to weather the frigid cold like the Eskimos, or you have a more primitive approach (see heated ice shanty), this is the weekend to break out those ice augers and drill some holes. It is STURGEON SEASON BABY!!!

This winter has been relatively "warm" (I use that term loosely). Many fisherman have been concerned about the quality of the ice and the potential for a true sturgeon spearing season. But not my husband. He is willing and ready. Despite the drop in temps and wind chills, he is out there getting ready. Right now.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this type of "sport" see below.

or how about here...

Now, today, we woke up to a complete white out outside. Here is a view from my car as I drove the kids to school, and then to the gym. I'm surprised schools weren't closed. I could barely see. And it is only getting worse out there. Take a look.

In fact, Garth just called me to assure me that he would safe "out there." Also, reminding me to travel safe and take my time when picking the kids up from school. Quote-
"Be careful. It is white out here."

Nice. Perfect. Thank God for life insurance.

Oh and. Don't forget. We live in Wisconsin. Which means, no "sporting" event is complete without (a lot of) drinking. Perfect. Thank God for life insurance.

Stay safe fisherman, and women!

Breakfast

I guess I didn't feed Hudson enough for breakfast. He helped himself into the pantry and enjoyed some Cheez-it crackers.

Cake Pops, By Mama S.

Lucy has her preschool Valentines Day Party tomorrow. All the parents were asked to bring in valentines to share with all the kids. So, there I sat. thinking about what I was going to make for my little Lucy to share with all of her friends. Then it hit me. I will make cake pops. I gathered all of my supplies and off baking I went. Hudson was napping. Garth was with Lucy at the Y. Kane was doing homework. I had a quiet kitchen and time to kill. Before I knew it. I was a cake pop baking fool.

Now this was my first attempt at making these delicious, adorable treats. But, I am a smart cookie (no baking pun intended). How hard could it be?

So follow along. As I show you, step by step, how to make Cake Pops, by Mama S.

Step One.
Pre heat your oven to 350 degrees. Look through all the toy boxes, underneath all the couches, and in the tub (don't ask) for your favorite baking whisk. Oh wait. That is probably just me. Thanks Hudson. For everyone else, prepare your favorite vanilla cake. Stir in 1/2-1 cup multi-colored sprinkles.

As you can see, I never found my whisk. As evidenced by the spoon in the cake batter. I guess I could have looked in the car, but oh well. Moving on.

Step Two.
Pour cake batter into your cake pop pan. I bought mine at Target for about $19. A little over priced. But, it did the trick. You can google different ways to make these treats. But, you are reading my blog. This is my way.

Step Three.
Place top of cake pop pan on top of bottom pan. Secure with clips, provided. Place cake pops in oven and bake for about 22-25 minutes.

Step Four.
If cake batter bakes through holes in pan, dont worry. It happens. You can clean it up later.

Step Five.
Let cake pops and pan cool, completley. Scrape off all batter that baked through the tops. They fall off easily. Like little mushroom caps.

Step Six.
This step is optional. And I suggest not doing it. You will see why later.
With left over batter, make cupcakes for your kids to enjoy.

Step Seven.
While cake pops are cooling. Take melting candy and place in bowl. Melt in microwave, 30 second increments, until smooth.
Step Eight.
Dip lollipop sticks in melted candy. Then press sticks into cake pops. Place cake pop upside down on plate and place all pops in the fridge for 10 minutes. This helps the stick stay in the cake pop.

Step Nine.
After ten minutes. Take cake pops out of fridge and get ready to dip your pops. (optional) Invite your 13 year old to have a soda and tell you about his day. You know, to keep you company while you are a baking fool.

Make sure your melting candy is melted. If not, put it back in microwave again. When ready. Take each pop, individually, and dip in candy coating. Sprinkle with toppings as you like. Lucy put in a request for sprinkles. Easy enough.

Step Ten.
Let all pops cool and harden. Wrap each pop with plastic wrap and curly ribbon. If you are making Valentines, don't forget your card. Lucy picked out Princess Valentines. Surprised?

There you have it. A ten step program to making treats everyone can enjoy.

Now, remember, back at step six? Well. Every school party for Lucy has been for 16 kids. The kids in her class. For Halloween, I made 16 pumpkin brownies. For Christmas, I made 16 Rudolph cookies. For Valentines day, tonight, I made 16 cake pops.

My 16 cake pop Valentines.

When I finished making these cake pops, I sat down to relish in my baking glory and enjoy a glass of wine. That is when Garth looked at the Preschool calendar and asked,
"How many valentines were you supposed to make?"
After sipping my wine and flopping on the couch, I said "16."
"You sure? I thought I saw a sign at school that was reminding parents to bring in 36 valentines." He said, with obvious concern behind his voice.
"What? You sat here and watched me make and wrap 16 fucking Valentines. All this time, knowing that I needed 36? Since when do we need 36 treats? Lucy has always had 16 kids in her class." I screamed, nearly dropping my glass of wine. Near stroking, I ran to the calendar.

Sure as shit. It reads as follows:

Reminder to Parents- February 10th is the Valentines Party. Please bring in 36 Valentines with "from" only.

Silent with anger. I look, stare, glare at Garth. All he can do is laugh.

Near tears, I say, "What am I going to do now? It is 8pm. I don't even have 36 Valentine cards. The box only has 32. They must be like the fucking hot dog bun company. Screwing Americans by making less then we all need. There by, making us all buy more of a product we (don't) need. So, I have to go buy a box of 32 more cards. Leaving me with 28 extra. Perfect. Fucking. Perfect. This is shaping up to be the worst. night. ever."

Garth, scared, asks, "why don't you just make more cake pops?"

"Why? Why? Because I made cupcakes with the left over batter! That's why!" I yell. "I have to start over, make more cake batter. And. Start. Over."

Just so you all know. I didnt make 20 more cake pops. I rummaged my pantry and made rice crispy treats instead. As for the valentine card dilemma. I haven't worked that detail out just yet. I am too busy drowning my frustration in a bottle of red wine. Perfect.

may you find peace

a horrible tragedy in our rural community has reminded us how precious life is. a reminder that we are not invincible. we are human. we make mistakes. we work, together, to rise above. may peace be with everyone- involved, paralyzed by grief, observing, learning, hoping. all of you. i reverently observe your pain. may you find forgiveness. may you find love in your hearts. may you find peace.

-a song for angels. amen.

mama s.
xoxox

Birthdays and Bowling

Happy Sweet 16 Samantha (my kid's babysitter) I had a blast bowling with you and your friends. Ah, to be 16 again. Drama. Fun. Laughs. Pictures. Loves you girlie!
-mama s
xoxox

I made this collage with my new fav photo iphone app- Pic Collage. Check it out. Let me know what you think.

Peace.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue (I like funny cards, how about you?)

With Valentines Day right around the corner, I started to look for the perfect card to send to all my loved ones. Here are some of the favorites. Compliments of Google Images.

How are you spending your Valentines Day?

Geography- Religion, Drugs, Porn?

I found this on FB. Thank God (Jesus) for FB. Enlightening? What do you think?

Where was this lesson when I was in geography class???

Hobbits... Make me giggle.

Loves

If I could put you in a time capsule and keep you forever-like this. I probably would. You are perfect. Stay here with me. Always be mine. I love you.
-Mommy

Drinking the Kool Aid

As of late, I have found myself having conversations with friends, my husband, my mom, Aunt Darlene- about religion, faith, and 'God.' In fact, at work- the topic is discussed often. This is usually due to the fact that we see and deal with patient's as they face the end of life. Religion and faith is thick in the air. Everyone having different, but similar beliefs.

Being a 'has been' has given me a different perspective. Why do we need religious leaders? Why do we need to feel like "we" are right and "they" are wrong? And why, do we need special underwear?

If the bible is 'true' and Christianity is the 'true' religion, I think that we have all really screwed up. I don't think that Christ meant for us to live by a rigid set of rules. He certainly didn't want us to live with quilt. And, I really don't think He or St. Peter cares what kind of underwear we are wearing.

I think religion should be like preschool. Let's all get along. Play nice. Let's sing when we are happy. And cry when we are sad. Lets remember to help those less fortunate, be charitable. Be good. Be honest. Be thankful. Without the quilt. Do what you want, with pride. Don't hide who you are. Quit confessing of all of your sins. Start rejoicing in your triumphs.

And, if we get up to the pearly white gates and St. Peter asks us what underwear we are wearing or what Kool Aid we are drinking- I'm gonna say: striped granny pannies and cherry (with vodka?) Now can I come in or not?

Food for thought... Neopaganism? Might work? What do you think?

Whoever you are: Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish, Atheist, Pentecostal, Lutheran, Quaker(?), or Mormon. Whatever Kool Aid you are drinking. I dig it, just don't make me drink it with you. Unless you have some vodka.

Peace be with you.

-mama s.

Stats=Hell

My life for the next 8 weeks. I am officially in hell. Outer darkness would probably be more interesting.