Desperate Body Pump Housewives

Today, my girlfriend Tasha invited me to join her at the YMCA for a morning Body Pump class. She warmed me to arrive as early as possible, she told me that women line up and fight to attend this particular class. Laughing her off, I agreed to meet her. She sighed and said, "I will save you a spot- trust me."

So the alarm clock went off at at 7:45. I arose and started getting ready. My sweet children still asleep. I had laid out all their things the night before, the words of Tasha ringing in the back of my mind. I hustled as I awoke my two darlings. The were surprisingly mild this morning. No screaming or crying.

Lucy dressed herself- big surprise, as I got Hudson ready. Since Garth was working today, the kids were going to play at the YMCA child center while I worked out. We went to pile in the car, that's when I realized. My keys were locked inside my SUV. CRAP..... Thinking, I remember, Garth can remotely unlock my car from his cell phone. Technology is great. That is, if Garth answers his phone to help. Okay next plan..... I can call OnStar, they will help me. That is when I embarked on the long, and difficult process of unlocking my car doors. After answering a slew of questions and offering to sell one of my children in order for the OnStar lady to hurry, I was finally inside my car and headed to the YMCA.

8:30, I arrive at the YMCA. Thinking I have plenty of time, the class starts at 8:45, I stroll in and drop my kids off at the child center. With hugs and kisses, they run off and start to play. I, glancing at the clock, start to feel a little nervous. Not about leaving my kids, but about body pump. I run downstairs to Studio B when I see it, the line of desperate housewives, fighting their way inside the class. Tasha was right. I look around, no Tasha. Great. I fought locked car doors for this. When, out of the corner of my eye, I see Tasha. Covered in sweat, more ambitious than I, she apparently had arrived early, secured two spots in the back of the class- thank you! And then warmed up on the treadmill for nothing less than 5 miles, I'm sure.

Not only was Tasha right about this class, the fighting women, she didn't tell me that some women get angry when spots are held for late comers, like myself. These women want this class, these women need this class. It was completely full. Late comers, pressed their faces against the windows, in anguish, when the doors closed. It reminded me of college finals, when your professor would shut the doors at the time of the exam and flunk anyone who wasn't there. It was pathetic. But, I felt great that I had a spot.

We endured a butt kicking hour of weight lifting and core body strengthening. It was torturous, but amazing. When we were all done, I felt victorious. On my way to the next class of my day, I was stopped by one of the YMCA workers.

"Are Lucy's mom?" The girl asked.
"Yeah, why what's wrong?" All the time thinking Lucy was bullying some other kid.
"Lucy has a belly ache and just threw up. We think you should take your children home now."

Feeling terrible about my sick child, but triumphant over the other moms and housewives, I gathered my children and headed home for snuggling and chicken soup.

Lessons learned....

When someone tells you to watch out for other women at the gym, you better believe them, I think I saw someone throw an elbow.

Karma is real, beating out other moms to get a spot in class can lead to sick children in the child center.

Attention: no pictures for this post, out of respect for the other women, okay.... and myself.