Skittles, a Deuce, and NYC

What do Ricky Martin, Matthew Broderick, and a very intimate security check have in common? Oh, A LOT.

I am back from my amazing trip to NYC. 4 days of Broadway magic and big city fun. But, while I was livin la vida loca with Ricky Martin in "Evita" and laughing at Mr. Broderick in his new comedy, my kids spent 4 whole days with dad. And it shows. So while I was reminiscing with Mormon humor during the vulgar (but hysterical) musical "The Book of Mormon"and getting the most intimate security pat down on earth, from a very large (unattractive) female TSA agent, the kids were eating Popsicles, drinking juice boxes, and staying up so late that the red #40 just poured out of their ears.

With today being Monday, it is the perfect day to wake everyone up early, go to the gym, and make everyone eat their fruits and vegetables. And brush their teeth. And hair. And wear clean underwear. And most importantly, work on our vocabulary skills.

You see, this morning, I was in the bathroom. Going to the bathroom, when Lucy asked me,

"Mom. Whatcha doing? Are you on the toilet dropping a deuce?"

Perfect. Thanks Garth.

Thanks Garth. For letting me get away for a few days. I really enjoyed drinking vodka, staying up late, sleeping in, and being responsible for only me. It was rejuvenating. And thanks for keeping the kids alive. Even if they survived only on pizza and red #40. And learned a few new words.

I'll take it from here.

Oh crap. Gotta run. Hudson is throwing his blueberries at his sister. And Lucy is calling him a boner.

Has everyones brain turned to skittles? Do you think they have rehab for toddlers? I should look into that. Or maybe a skittle remover???


Excuse me while I hide in the bathroom, not taking a deuce, and listen to the original soundtrack from "Wicked" and dream I'm defying gravity in OZ.