The Little Red Hen

Since experiencing a serious life change, my mom has been adapting. She is a damn chameleon. She is working on living a positive life, full of exercise, and free from carbs. I'm proud of her. She is strong and rising above. But I can not, will not, support her new carb free life. Mostly because I am jealous of her self control. I have to draw the line somewhere! A girl needs her cheat days!

After visiting my little sister in Utah, my mom returned home with a simple, no knead, 4 ingredient, homemade bread recipe. Its no surprise that she went to Utah and came home with a recipe of some kind. That's what the Mormons do. Feed you. Bless you. And feed you some more. Thank god too, cause my skinny mom needed some bread. Some blessings. And some more bread.

Anyways. When my mom walked into my kitchen with this recipe and ended her carb free hunger strike- I was like hell ya. Lets bake and laugh and eat.

It was all fun and games until we realized that the bread dough needed to rise over night. Bummer.

I woke up yesterday morning feeling like I had just had the worlds funnest one night stands. After having a slumber party with my kids and my mom, I woke up to just my kids and a text message from my mom....


Mom: don't forget- put it in a cast iron pot with a lid

Me: Um. I don't own a cast iron pot. I'm not a pioneer. And the last time I was at girls camp was circa 2001.
Mom: Use a f*cking pot. Follow the directions
Me: Um. Okay. I'm not making any promises. A pot is very different from a dutch oven. What is all this flattening and proofing and rising business???
Mom: OMG. You can saves lives but you cant bake bread? Just put it in the oven and bake it @ 500 degrees

This is what happened.

rising and proofing

no dutch oven- no problem. i just used the insert from one of 100 crock pots, and prayed it wouldn't crack and/melt at 500 degrees

inside my 500 degree oven

out of the oven. note the melted lid handle. yep. that happened.

it must have been delicious. as evidenced by the scraps left for me on the counter by the animals at my house
thanks guys. i feel like the little red hen.
 

It looks like I can save lives AND bake bread. Hells. Yeah. Oh. And mom, a little lesson in one night stands...If you stick around the morning after you might get to enjoy some homemade, delicious, Mormon bread.

To my little sis Jillian and her Utah family- thank you for the bread recipe. I will think of you and pray before I enjoy this delicious, righteous treat. But. Please don't send anymore recipes. My ass doesn't need the empty carb calories. I live in Wisconsin and I have no self control.

From Wisconsin, with love,
-A