Mind Your Manners: A PSA

This is a Public Service Announcement

Attention ICU Patients: past, present, and future

I am a nurse. I love my job. It is an honor to help care for you and your loved ones in your time of need. I am smart, competent, and caring. I empathize with all of your pain, fear, and uncertainty.

I am, however; not your slave. Or your waitress.

I will not respond to, "HEY YOU!"
Or, "NUUUUUUUURSE!!!"

I don't appreciate you saying, "Well you are just a nurse." Your doctor ordered all those pain medications. But he doesn't actually have any. I do.

Again. I fully understand that you are sick, scared, or hurting. But. Remember playing nice in the sandbox in kindergarten? Patience. Please and Thank you. Kindness. The Golden Rule. Please and Thank you. Yep. You still need to follow all of those rules. You know why? Because they are my rules too. And you are in my ICU.

More rules-
Laying bed all day isn't going to get you home any faster.
Your spouse is also, not your slave.
Yelling wont get things moving any faster.
Sentence structure goes a little like this: "Please may I have more ice chips? Thank you."
Yes, you have to take ALL of your medications.
We will spend time working on physical therapy and dietary education.
No, you may not smoke. Anywhere. Period. Don't ask again.
I am here to help. HELP you get better. It will always be a team effort. There is no "HEY YOU" in team.
Please don't touch any of the expensive equipment. Ever.
No, your plan is not a good one. Mine is. How many times have you done this? Right. Now how many times have I done this?
You need to listen to what I have say. This isn't my first BBQ.
I sure as hell am not doing all of this for my own health. You are the one in the ICU- remember?

Now. Roll over. This wont hurt a bit.
Please. Thank you.