Most days I feel like a broken record.
Pick up your shoes. Stop screaming. Eat your vegetables. Clean your room. Stop hitting your brother. No you can not drink my wine. Put your bike away.
That kind of broken record.
So. After coming home from running errands with the two little (demons) Schueys, only to find a bike in the driveway, the back door to the house left open, dirty dishes, (teenager) clothes left all over the house, and an ipod on the counter- I flipped. My broken record came to a screeching halt. I was done.
I took all of Kane's shit and hid everything in the neighbor's garage. Clothes, ipod, and his bike.
Proud of my clever idea, I put the little kids to bed and fell asleep surfing Pinterest.
The next day, Kane asked Garth where his bike was. In on my trick, Garth tried not to smile and told Kane he didn't know where his bike was. Confused, Kane started to retrace his steps, when Lucy(ifer) quickly yelled, in a creepy sing song voice...
"I know where your bike is!!!!! Mom put it in Chris' garage!!!! She said she was tired of you not picking up your shit!!!"
Thanks Lucy(ifer).
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This picture, says it all.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Raising Demons
I am new at this whole parenting thing. After I got pregnant and gave birth to my little demons, I learned- they do not come with a hand book. Can you believe it?
These little suckers are tricky. They are manipulative and clever. Their smiles could stop wars. But their screams and antics could start new ones.
With Lucy starting school soon, I figured it was time to crack the whip. Makes some rules. Lay down the law. Set her straight.
As for Hudson, well, if he is gonna keep living with us, he needs to take his perfect little dimples and follow along.
Preparing for school started with trips to the Doctor, and physicals. For everyone. This scared 2 of my 3 kids. And me. It scared me because....
Doctors=Shots.
Shots= Crazy Schueys
Crazy Schueys=Crazy Mama
At our appointment we discussed milestones and growth markers for everyone. Lucy passed with flying colors- showing off her counting and alphabet skills. And Hudson. Well he showed off his darling dimples and flirted with the Doctor. Impressing no one but himself. And Kane tortured Lucy about the potential for SHOTS. Thanks Kane.
The shots conversation happened. And Lucy lost her mind. Her brain fell out of her head. She literally ran into the door, trying to escape.
As Lucy thrashed her body around on the floor- screaming, Dr. B just kept talking louder and louder. Until, she finally stopped and said,
"Amanda, do you like read? Or should I ask, Do you have time to read? Because I have a really good book to recommend. It is called, Raising Your Spirited Child."
My response,
"You mean, Raising Lucifer?"
After the (animals) kids received their tranquilizers, we all took our lollipops and went on our merrily way. And, I immediately downloaded a new book on my Ipad.
These little suckers are tricky. They are manipulative and clever. Their smiles could stop wars. But their screams and antics could start new ones.
With Lucy starting school soon, I figured it was time to crack the whip. Makes some rules. Lay down the law. Set her straight.
As for Hudson, well, if he is gonna keep living with us, he needs to take his perfect little dimples and follow along.
Preparing for school started with trips to the Doctor, and physicals. For everyone. This scared 2 of my 3 kids. And me. It scared me because....
Doctors=Shots.
Shots= Crazy Schueys
Crazy Schueys=Crazy Mama
At our appointment we discussed milestones and growth markers for everyone. Lucy passed with flying colors- showing off her counting and alphabet skills. And Hudson. Well he showed off his darling dimples and flirted with the Doctor. Impressing no one but himself. And Kane tortured Lucy about the potential for SHOTS. Thanks Kane.
The shots conversation happened. And Lucy lost her mind. Her brain fell out of her head. She literally ran into the door, trying to escape.
As Lucy thrashed her body around on the floor- screaming, Dr. B just kept talking louder and louder. Until, she finally stopped and said,
"Amanda, do you like read? Or should I ask, Do you have time to read? Because I have a really good book to recommend. It is called, Raising Your Spirited Child."
My response,
"You mean, Raising Lucifer?"
After the (animals) kids received their tranquilizers, we all took our lollipops and went on our merrily way. And, I immediately downloaded a new book on my Ipad.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Fighting Rules
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting it to come out different."
-Benjamin Franklin
"You cant expect to do the same things over and over again and expect different results."
-My Dad
Yep. Sounds about right. My whole life I have been driven to exceed. To be better. But in some areas of my life, I have spent too much time doing the same things and expecting the outcome to be what I want it to be.
Don't get me wrong. I am successful. I am happy- 80% of the time. But. I still feel insane.
I need to remember the words of Ben Franklin, and my dad, as I continue to better myself. Ben Franklin had his shit together. Electricity. Hello. And my dad. Well he hasn't done too bad for himself either. I should probably take note.
So, instead of letting Lucy stay up all night, expecting her to be human in the morning. I am going to implement a new rule- everyone goes down at 8pm. Because you know what? Lucy starts school in 2 weeks. Yep. My baby is starting school. And the bus is coming to get her at 7:50 am. And, well, Lucy doesn't do mornings. Period. And you never know. If everyone goes to sleep at a decent hour, I might have the energy for other things???
And, instead of fighting with Hudson over juice boxes, as he chugs down 10 a day. I'm not going to buy juice boxes anymore. Water will not kill my kids.
Instead of fighting with Kane over his chores, I'm going to defer to G. He can deal with it. If Kane gets rats from eating snacks in his messy bedroom, then at least he will have company while he is grounded.
As for me. I am going to continue doing my INSANITY work outs. They are crazy. They give me chest pain. But when I am done each day, I feel better. And I am starting to look better too.
As for G- I love him. He has supported me through some pretty heavy shit. And he continues to each day. I need to keep up on my love dare. For him. For us. Because if I don't, like Ben and my dad say- how can I expect anything to change?
G always says, "If you are happy, then I am happy."
So, instead of walking around crabby because of messy little Schueys, dirty floors, and bad attitudes. I am going to smile. And be thankful for the fact that we have a comfortable life. Healthy (half human) kids. And a strong marriage. I need to show my 80% happiness more than my 20% crazy.
Okay. Some rules.
1. I promise not to yell (too loud) or swear.
2. I promise to not read into your words, and assume the worst.
3. I promise not to throw things (at your head).
4. I promise to listen to you (without interruption).
5. I promise to (try and) not get defensive.
6. I promise to use kind words.
7. I promise to kiss and make up. Maybe more... wink, wink.
8. I promise to love you.
I think I will get a swear jar. And a throwing jar. I could save up for something real nice.
peace and love,
-A
-Benjamin Franklin
"You cant expect to do the same things over and over again and expect different results."
-My Dad
Yep. Sounds about right. My whole life I have been driven to exceed. To be better. But in some areas of my life, I have spent too much time doing the same things and expecting the outcome to be what I want it to be.
Don't get me wrong. I am successful. I am happy- 80% of the time. But. I still feel insane.
I need to remember the words of Ben Franklin, and my dad, as I continue to better myself. Ben Franklin had his shit together. Electricity. Hello. And my dad. Well he hasn't done too bad for himself either. I should probably take note.
So, instead of letting Lucy stay up all night, expecting her to be human in the morning. I am going to implement a new rule- everyone goes down at 8pm. Because you know what? Lucy starts school in 2 weeks. Yep. My baby is starting school. And the bus is coming to get her at 7:50 am. And, well, Lucy doesn't do mornings. Period. And you never know. If everyone goes to sleep at a decent hour, I might have the energy for other things???
And, instead of fighting with Hudson over juice boxes, as he chugs down 10 a day. I'm not going to buy juice boxes anymore. Water will not kill my kids.
Instead of fighting with Kane over his chores, I'm going to defer to G. He can deal with it. If Kane gets rats from eating snacks in his messy bedroom, then at least he will have company while he is grounded.
As for me. I am going to continue doing my INSANITY work outs. They are crazy. They give me chest pain. But when I am done each day, I feel better. And I am starting to look better too.
As for G- I love him. He has supported me through some pretty heavy shit. And he continues to each day. I need to keep up on my love dare. For him. For us. Because if I don't, like Ben and my dad say- how can I expect anything to change?
G always says, "If you are happy, then I am happy."
So, instead of walking around crabby because of messy little Schueys, dirty floors, and bad attitudes. I am going to smile. And be thankful for the fact that we have a comfortable life. Healthy (half human) kids. And a strong marriage. I need to show my 80% happiness more than my 20% crazy.
Love Dare: Day 13
Love Fights Fair
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.
-Mark 3:25
Today's Dare
Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate if not ready for this, then write down your own personal rules to "FIGHT" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
Okay. Some rules.
1. I promise not to yell (too loud) or swear.
2. I promise to not read into your words, and assume the worst.
3. I promise not to throw things (at your head).
4. I promise to listen to you (without interruption).
5. I promise to (try and) not get defensive.
6. I promise to use kind words.
7. I promise to kiss and make up. Maybe more... wink, wink.
8. I promise to love you.
I think I will get a swear jar. And a throwing jar. I could save up for something real nice.
peace and love,
-A
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Free Kids, Benadryl Included
Everyday is a new day. Usually my kids sleep well past 9am, allowing me a few quiet hours, snuggled under the covers- the bed all to myself. But lately, these little demons have been waking up a little earlier. So. In planning for earlier mornings, I have been taking a few too many benadryl and falling sleep before the sun even goes down. I need at least 12 hours to function. Last night was no different. We had family night for the first time in a while- chicken caesar salad, home made bread, rice crispy treats, and a little golf. And by golf. I mean, I tried to smack golf balls into the lake with my dad's golf clubs. After about an hour of watching my kids use golf clubs as swords, I figured it was time to go home, take little pink pills, and go to sleep. But before I could start to dream about a life with clean floors and happy children, Lucy knocked me back into reality by spitting her chewed gum at her dad. Because she heard the word "no."
Enter the tornado. So before the neighbors could call social services, G grabbed her and tied her up in her car seat and shut the car door, while I gathered what was left of family night, and my pride. The car ride home was a blur. G analyzing family night, Lucy screaming about something, and little Hudson cooing, "oogoo-gi." I sat there in my seat. Daydreaming about sleep. When I remembered my (stupid) love dare. The challenge to better myself. Too bad I have to be awake to work on myself. Because I think that some of my best moments have been in bed. Sleeping. Or channel surfing. Or eating ice cream out of the carton.
So my personal challenge continues...
Day 12
Love Lets the Other Win
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. - Philippians 2:4
Today's Dare-
Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to to give in in an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.
My plan-
share my benadryl cocktail with the whole family, and fall asleep before an argument can even start.
What really happened-
dishes, bath time, story time, benadryl, small argument, kiss goodnight.
Ugh. Could have been worse.
-A
Enter the tornado. So before the neighbors could call social services, G grabbed her and tied her up in her car seat and shut the car door, while I gathered what was left of family night, and my pride. The car ride home was a blur. G analyzing family night, Lucy screaming about something, and little Hudson cooing, "oogoo-gi." I sat there in my seat. Daydreaming about sleep. When I remembered my (stupid) love dare. The challenge to better myself. Too bad I have to be awake to work on myself. Because I think that some of my best moments have been in bed. Sleeping. Or channel surfing. Or eating ice cream out of the carton.
So my personal challenge continues...
Day 12
Love Lets the Other Win
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. - Philippians 2:4
Today's Dare-
Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to to give in in an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.
My plan-
share my benadryl cocktail with the whole family, and fall asleep before an argument can even start.
What really happened-
dishes, bath time, story time, benadryl, small argument, kiss goodnight.
Ugh. Could have been worse.
-A
 |
| oogoo-gi smudgy fingers. smudgy glasses. smudgy floors. sounds about right. |
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Finding My Smile: Day 11
We are home from our hellish family vacation. Everyday life waited for us back at home. Today the alarm clock went off at 5am and I was thrust back into my daily routine. Workout. Quiet shower. Protein shake. Wake up Lucifer for her photo shoot to help support women's health and the pink glove campaign. Yada Yada Yada.
Lucy had a 7:30 call time. Lucy doesn't even know what 7:30 looks like. Needless to say, she was awful. She wouldn't even change into her costume. Her PINK tu-tu costume. Lucy LOVES pink AND tu-tus. So.... We will try again later today after to takes a nap. It is now 10:49 and she has been asleep since 9:00. Hopefully she wakes up human, this time.
As I sit here, drinking coffee with Garth and watching Spongebob Square Pants with Hudson, I reflect on my love dare and my need to focus on day 11.
Lately, Garth has been tired of my negative attitude. My bad moods. My drama. I am exhausting him and not in a good way. He is such a kind and patient man. I need to reciprocate these qualities in the way that show him love I love him.
Day 11
LOVE CHERISHES
Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. – Ephesians 5:28
If Garth loved me like he loved his own body, he would try to hump me all day long. Wait. He does do that.
He loves me. My body. My part in our marriage. Everything- expect the crazy parts maybe. I am realizing that all he is asking me is to show him that he makes me happy. Show him in the way he shows me- physically. I need to physically be happy. Physically say, "I am happy." Physically love him.
Men and women communicate love differently. We speak different languages. We need to blend these languages into one. Maybe we could take a lesson from Hudson- oogoogi.
I dare myself to show Garth how much I cherish him. I dare to try and speak his language. Because I love him. And I want him to feel as loved as he makes me feel. No matter how tired I am. Wish me luck.
What need does your spouse have that you could meet today?
Can you run an errant? Give a back or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with?
Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you," and do it with a smile.
Obviously Garth has no errands or housework he needs help with. And since this isn't about me, I guess I am going to have to find another way to cherish him. I wonder... Maybe a foot massage?
I better go find my smile.
-A
Lucy had a 7:30 call time. Lucy doesn't even know what 7:30 looks like. Needless to say, she was awful. She wouldn't even change into her costume. Her PINK tu-tu costume. Lucy LOVES pink AND tu-tus. So.... We will try again later today after to takes a nap. It is now 10:49 and she has been asleep since 9:00. Hopefully she wakes up human, this time.
As I sit here, drinking coffee with Garth and watching Spongebob Square Pants with Hudson, I reflect on my love dare and my need to focus on day 11.
Lately, Garth has been tired of my negative attitude. My bad moods. My drama. I am exhausting him and not in a good way. He is such a kind and patient man. I need to reciprocate these qualities in the way that show him love I love him.
Day 11
LOVE CHERISHES
Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. – Ephesians 5:28
If Garth loved me like he loved his own body, he would try to hump me all day long. Wait. He does do that.
He loves me. My body. My part in our marriage. Everything- expect the crazy parts maybe. I am realizing that all he is asking me is to show him that he makes me happy. Show him in the way he shows me- physically. I need to physically be happy. Physically say, "I am happy." Physically love him.
Men and women communicate love differently. We speak different languages. We need to blend these languages into one. Maybe we could take a lesson from Hudson- oogoogi.
I dare myself to show Garth how much I cherish him. I dare to try and speak his language. Because I love him. And I want him to feel as loved as he makes me feel. No matter how tired I am. Wish me luck.
Today's Dare
Can you run an errant? Give a back or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with?
Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you," and do it with a smile.
Obviously Garth has no errands or housework he needs help with. And since this isn't about me, I guess I am going to have to find another way to cherish him. I wonder... Maybe a foot massage?
I better go find my smile.
-A
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Love and War
We recently took a break from our insane life and retreated on a mini family vacation, with the kids. For fun. I repeat. With the kids. For fun. It was a conscious decision. That turned out to be insane. Ironic?
Having a few days to kill while we wait to pack up our life and move on to the next chapter in our lives, we found a coupon, packed some swimsuits, lunch boxes, and booze. Destination- fun filled, water capital, the Wisconsin Dells. Google it. Its nuts. It is like Disneyland on crack, with water slides, and beer.
I was hoping this little family trip would be a much needed bonding experience for our family. The stress of our daily lives has been pretty thick lately. Kane is a moody teenager, who has forgotten how to say please and thank you. Lucy is a nuclear bomb, just waiting for the right moment to explode. Hudson, just follows along, blowing like a weed in the wind. Garth is overwhelmed with how to parent 3 very different children, deal with his obligations at work, and still put up with me. As for me. I am as crazy as always. My INSANITY regime continues to push me and motivate me. The structure helps to keep me grounded.
Seems like the perfect time to force 5 people to spend 3 days together. Right. Yeah. Uh. Huh.
As for my love challenge, I may not be as devoted to that as I should be. But, Hey, I carry the devotional book in my purse. Next to my flask. Just kidding.
Day 10
Love is Unconditional
God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ dies for us. – Romans 5:8
I needed this reminder on our blissful trip. To keep me from choosing sides in the WWIII battle that unfolded in our rented condo, and to keep me loving my husband, while he sat completely unaware that our kids were executing guerrilla warfare and taking no prisoners.
It was fun. I'm sorry you all missed it.
Since I obviously have my shit together, this is for all you.
Today’s Dare
Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse --- something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
He who trusts in the Lord, loving kindness shall surround him. (Psalm 32:10)
Good luck. I gotta go. I have to go build a bunker. Lucy is throwing grenades. Again.
-A
 |
| Husdon, having a night cap with Dad. Notice Kane and Lucy are missing. They are in their respective corners, planning their attacks in the other room. P.S. It was probably 10:30pm when this pic was taken. Mess. Just a damn mess. |
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
oogoo-gi
You may remember that I have been trying to teach Lucy how to read and Hudson how to talk. My main teaching techniques have been: reading silly Dr. Seuss books and listening to Pandora radio at loud intervals- singing and dancing with the little schueys.
But. I've failed. Lucy makes up her own stories. And. Hudson. Well, he speaks his own language. That only Lucy can understand. Familiar with Spanglish? It's kinda like that. But not.
Seriously. If Lucy wasn't around to translate for everyone, we would all still be standing in the kitchen, hugging ourselves. And crying. While Hudson twirled around screaming-
"oogoo-gi!!!!"
Im managing. But Garth and the rest of the world are having quite the time communicating with my little idiot savants.
Here is a list of what I have come up with so far. This is no joke. It's hysterical. It's my life. But it is no joke.
"beba" pronounced (bee-bah)- juice box
"ee" pronounced just like it sounds- toothbrush
"giggy"= sissy= Lucy
"eene"= Kane
"ninigh"= night night= put me to bed, you idiot!
"gee"= yes (I think) or maybe it's "no the other thing, dumbass"- as he points in the pantry
"mo-mo"= more
"tanktoo"= thank you (he is very polite while he screams)
"peeze" please (see above)
And. Finally.
"oogoo-gi" pronounced (oogoo-guy): there is no literal translation into english. This simply means anything. It could very possibly be Hudson's form of slang, for all I know. However, I notice him saying it more after he accomplishes something.
For example, after he successfully breaks into the pantry to eat an entire box of fruit snacks- "oogoo-gi"
Or, after he successfully steals anything from his sister- "oogoo-gi."
After he climbs the Mt. Everest pile of laundry in the basement- "oogoo-gi."
Or, pretending to be Luke Skywalker, using the broom as a light saber, smashing anything in his path- "oogoo-gi."
For me. This word represents my life. It's chaos. It's joy. It's frustration.
Tired little schueys refusing to go to bed: oogoo-gi
Hudson spilling an entire bottle of water on the carpet: oogoo-gi
Lucy screaming, "I don't like you!!!": oogoo-gi
Kane leaving an entire wardrobe of clothing all over the house: oogoo-gi
A random hug or kiss from big G: oogoo-gi
2 little schueys giving up, finally falling asleep in my arms. Their little hands on my heart. Aw, oogoo-gi.
I am lucky. I am blessed. I am loved.
-A
P.S. if you are following my love dare challenge. I don't have time, I'm busy cleaning up broken glass, dirty laundry, and wrangling little monsters for bed. Give a girl a break.
But. I've failed. Lucy makes up her own stories. And. Hudson. Well, he speaks his own language. That only Lucy can understand. Familiar with Spanglish? It's kinda like that. But not.
Seriously. If Lucy wasn't around to translate for everyone, we would all still be standing in the kitchen, hugging ourselves. And crying. While Hudson twirled around screaming-
"oogoo-gi!!!!"
Im managing. But Garth and the rest of the world are having quite the time communicating with my little idiot savants.
Here is a list of what I have come up with so far. This is no joke. It's hysterical. It's my life. But it is no joke.
"beba" pronounced (bee-bah)- juice box
"ee" pronounced just like it sounds- toothbrush
"giggy"= sissy= Lucy
"eene"= Kane
"ninigh"= night night= put me to bed, you idiot!
"gee"= yes (I think) or maybe it's "no the other thing, dumbass"- as he points in the pantry
"mo-mo"= more
"tanktoo"= thank you (he is very polite while he screams)
"peeze" please (see above)
And. Finally.
"oogoo-gi" pronounced (oogoo-guy): there is no literal translation into english. This simply means anything. It could very possibly be Hudson's form of slang, for all I know. However, I notice him saying it more after he accomplishes something.
For example, after he successfully breaks into the pantry to eat an entire box of fruit snacks- "oogoo-gi"
Or, after he successfully steals anything from his sister- "oogoo-gi."
After he climbs the Mt. Everest pile of laundry in the basement- "oogoo-gi."
Or, pretending to be Luke Skywalker, using the broom as a light saber, smashing anything in his path- "oogoo-gi."
For me. This word represents my life. It's chaos. It's joy. It's frustration.
Tired little schueys refusing to go to bed: oogoo-gi
Hudson spilling an entire bottle of water on the carpet: oogoo-gi
Lucy screaming, "I don't like you!!!": oogoo-gi
Kane leaving an entire wardrobe of clothing all over the house: oogoo-gi
A random hug or kiss from big G: oogoo-gi
2 little schueys giving up, finally falling asleep in my arms. Their little hands on my heart. Aw, oogoo-gi.
I am lucky. I am blessed. I am loved.
-A
P.S. if you are following my love dare challenge. I don't have time, I'm busy cleaning up broken glass, dirty laundry, and wrangling little monsters for bed. Give a girl a break.
 |
| my little luke skywalker |
Friday, August 10, 2012
Green Eggs and Ham
I am trying to teach Lucy how to read. Hudson how to talk. And curb my incessant appetite. All at the same time. Just another Friday at the Schuey's.
You can't see Hudson, because he has no desire to sit still through story time. He would rather eat the eggs, and the book. All while screaming, since he isn't talking yet.
Book of Mormon Girl
Due to my insanity and insomnia, I spend a lot of my time zoned out watching late night television. Every now and then, I stumble on something interesting. This is a clip from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He is interviewing liberal Mormon, and author Joanna Brooks. I was able to relate to her. Her humor, perspective, approach. It was refreshing. But, who is she voting for? That is the real question.
Handprints On My Heart
These are some of the throw pillows that help to set the mood in my "nice" living room. And by "nice," I mean- no kids allowed!
Look closely. What do you see?
I am afraid to even ask- who? how? what?
It is a good thing my little munchkins are as cute as they are. Because if they weren't, they would be using their sticky little hands to sew me new pillow shams.
Kiss Me Goodnight
Day 9
Love Makes Good Impressions
Greet one another with a kiss of love. – 1 Peter 5:14
Today’s Dare
Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.
This sign hangs above our bed. As a reminder. A reminder that we NEED. Garth and I hardly spend time kissing. We are too busy trying to get it on as fast as we can while the pitter patter of little feet quiet themselves with a popsicle and some Sponge Bob Square Pants. Pathetic. I know.
I love Garth. I am attracted to Garth. I think he is the sexiest ring leader for these three circus animals. It may be a circus. But it is our circus.
I know that I could kiss him more often. Don't even get me started on the "other" thing. To be honest, I think full days go by without a kiss being exchanged. Just last night, after having a completley emotional rollercoaster of a day, I fell asleep. He came to bed a little while later, crawled in and didn't wake me up to say goodnight. Let alone kiss me goodnight. I can hear his argument now-
"You want me to WAKE you up. While you are sleeping. To SAY goodnight. Just for you to fall back asleep? That is ridiculous!"
I see his point. BUT. Would we feel a deeper connection to eachother if we did make sure that we always kissed goodnight? Maybe that kiss goodnight could lead to other things.
What the hell. It is worth a try. Right? Besides. Who doesn't like an occassional make out session?
That settles it. I think I am going to surprise the hell out of him, and kiss him. Maybe even with a little tongue.
kisses,
-A
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Day 8
Together, lets complete day 8....
Day 8
Love is Not Jealous
Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire.
-Song of Solomon 8:6 NIV
Today’s Dare
Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Always,
-A
xoxo
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Gotta Love Day 7
Day 7
Love Believes the Best
[Love] believes all things, hopes all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:7
Today’s Dare
For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
I was completely unable to even attempt this dare today. Why? Let you me tell you why!
My girlfriend Rebecca had this great idea to wake the kids up early, pack lunches, and head to a water park in Door County, WI. Just me, her, and our four kids, ages 18months-8years. Great plan. Until you wake up at the ass crack of dawn, load everyone up, drive 2 1/2 hours, with 4 rowdy kids, only to find out- the water park is CLOSED! Perfect. Awesome. I wanted to ask the lady at entrance what the hell she expected us to do with 4 hyper, hungry kids, who wear wearing swimsuits? And why this closing wasn't listed on the Groupon Coupon that Rebecca and I had every intention of using? She didn't appear the slightest bit empathetic. Bitch. Oh and, thanks a lot Groupon!
An impulsive, very long day trip, turned into quite an adventure. I'm just glad we had the restraint to bring all 4 kids home and no one was left on the side of the road to hitch hike home on their good looks.
So, after 6 hours in the car, a few stage one bed sores, 3 in-car movies, 1 bee sting, no naps, and lunch made up of ice cream from a gas station, the little Schueys are now in bed. And I am enjoying left over spaghetti and a (double shot) vodka soda.
I'm going to sign off, before I black out. Tomorrow is a new day. I look forward to day 8 and some more INSANITY.
-A
P.S. Rebecca, I love you.
Thank you for making sure I didn't drive the car into oncoming traffic. I wouldn't have wanted to spend such a day with anyone else. You are the perfect Laverne to my Shirley. It was a well executed (?), good old, college try. Positive? I think so!
Oh and, as for some positive things I appreciate about Garth- he is always very calm during chaos (my life) and makes really good (strong) cocktails. I love you baby.
Love Believes the Best
[Love] believes all things, hopes all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:7
Today’s Dare
For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
I was completely unable to even attempt this dare today. Why? Let you me tell you why!
My girlfriend Rebecca had this great idea to wake the kids up early, pack lunches, and head to a water park in Door County, WI. Just me, her, and our four kids, ages 18months-8years. Great plan. Until you wake up at the ass crack of dawn, load everyone up, drive 2 1/2 hours, with 4 rowdy kids, only to find out- the water park is CLOSED! Perfect. Awesome. I wanted to ask the lady at entrance what the hell she expected us to do with 4 hyper, hungry kids, who wear wearing swimsuits? And why this closing wasn't listed on the Groupon Coupon that Rebecca and I had every intention of using? She didn't appear the slightest bit empathetic. Bitch. Oh and, thanks a lot Groupon!
An impulsive, very long day trip, turned into quite an adventure. I'm just glad we had the restraint to bring all 4 kids home and no one was left on the side of the road to hitch hike home on their good looks.
So, after 6 hours in the car, a few stage one bed sores, 3 in-car movies, 1 bee sting, no naps, and lunch made up of ice cream from a gas station, the little Schueys are now in bed. And I am enjoying left over spaghetti and a (double shot) vodka soda.
I'm going to sign off, before I black out. Tomorrow is a new day. I look forward to day 8 and some more INSANITY.
-A
P.S. Rebecca, I love you.
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| Doesn't she have the best smile? |
Thank you for making sure I didn't drive the car into oncoming traffic. I wouldn't have wanted to spend such a day with anyone else. You are the perfect Laverne to my Shirley. It was a well executed (?), good old, college try. Positive? I think so!
Oh and, as for some positive things I appreciate about Garth- he is always very calm during chaos (my life) and makes really good (strong) cocktails. I love you baby.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Days 5, 6, and a little Yak Butter
My love challenge is exactly that. A challenge. I already took a break. I let day 5 go by without even opening the little, brown book of devotionals that sits on my dresser. But, I didn't let it get me down. Yesterday I actually had a really nice day. Yesterday also happened to be the 2 week point in my INSANITY workout regime. I cant believe that I have stuck to that shit. It is nuts. But, I have to admit, even though I am not seeing any immediate changes in my body (my belly especially), I am starting to feel better. I have more energy, and I have noticed that my body is no longer starving for oxygen like it used to. As for my mental well being, I think I went a whole day without any tears. For some, this may not be a "challenge," but I was able to refrain from tears while I dealt with my life, helped my mom through hers, and drove GG around town in search of Yak Butter (don't ask. crazy. we all are). Talk about starving for oxygen. It was a good day, but exhausting.
So even though I didn't complete day 5, in all sense of the "rules," I completed day 5. I survived. I didn't drown. You cant see me right now, but, I am doing my happy dance.
Lets do this day 6 thing. I can do it. Can you?
Day 6
Love is not irritable
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. -Proverbs 16:32
The Dare
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
Things to ponder-
Where do you need to add margin to your life? (um. everywhere? okay. okay. my level of patience, with everyone?) When have you recently overreacted? (um, 10 minutes ago) What was your real motivation behind it? (I have absolutely no idea!?!)
I have a sinking feeling that day 6 will not be as successful as my day 5. Wish me luck.
I think in saying that, I have already failed to not overreact.
Damn.
peace,
-A
So even though I didn't complete day 5, in all sense of the "rules," I completed day 5. I survived. I didn't drown. You cant see me right now, but, I am doing my happy dance.
Lets do this day 6 thing. I can do it. Can you?
Day 6
Love is not irritable
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. -Proverbs 16:32
The Dare
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
Things to ponder-
Where do you need to add margin to your life? (um. everywhere? okay. okay. my level of patience, with everyone?) When have you recently overreacted? (um, 10 minutes ago) What was your real motivation behind it? (I have absolutely no idea!?!)
I have a sinking feeling that day 6 will not be as successful as my day 5. Wish me luck.
I think in saying that, I have already failed to not overreact.
Damn.
peace,
-A
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Love Dare Day 4
After yet another emotional day yesterday, I found myself spiraling out of control with emotions. Fear, anger, insecurity. The voices in my head are all competing for airtime. My head is spinning.
At this time in my life, if I was a praying girl, I would pray. But, since I think I have forgotten how to pray, I will simply crawl back into a dark hole and hibernate. Hopefully, when I wake up it will be spring again.
The scripture involved in this love dare makes me a little nauseous, but the sentiment is nice enough. So I will continue to stomach through it.
Now, more than ever I need to be reminded of the goodness in my life. I need to calm the voices in my head. Hopefully this love dare will bring me back to center. This vertigo shit is making me crazy.
So, if you need me, just look for the girl in the corner who is holding the wall for balance, and pretending to be okay.
Bring on day 4....
Day 4
Love is thoughtful
How precious also are Your thoughts to me. . . . How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
—Psalm 139:17–18
Today’s Dare
Contact your spouse sometime during
the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything
you could do for them.
Whoa,
-A
At this time in my life, if I was a praying girl, I would pray. But, since I think I have forgotten how to pray, I will simply crawl back into a dark hole and hibernate. Hopefully, when I wake up it will be spring again.
The scripture involved in this love dare makes me a little nauseous, but the sentiment is nice enough. So I will continue to stomach through it.
Now, more than ever I need to be reminded of the goodness in my life. I need to calm the voices in my head. Hopefully this love dare will bring me back to center. This vertigo shit is making me crazy.
So, if you need me, just look for the girl in the corner who is holding the wall for balance, and pretending to be okay.
Bring on day 4....
Day 4
Love is thoughtful
How precious also are Your thoughts to me. . . . How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
—Psalm 139:17–18
Today’s Dare
Contact your spouse sometime during
the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything
you could do for them.
Whoa,
-A
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Love Dare Day 3
I have to admit that I failed to perform one random of act of kindness for G yesterday. The current of our lives kept me preoccupied and unaware. My head is down, my tail between my legs. I will be better.
But, I was successful in not saying anything negative to him. Mostly because I didn't have time, not because I didn't have anything to say or because I tried so hard to be positive. Fail?
Discouraged, but willing- I welcome day 3 of my love dare.
Day 3
Love is not selfish
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. —Romans 12:10
The Dare
Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking about you today."
These words remind me of the Elton John ballad, "Your Song." The lyrics are simple, sweet, and genuine. Just like that song, this dare is simple and sincere.
Forever love,
-A
But, I was successful in not saying anything negative to him. Mostly because I didn't have time, not because I didn't have anything to say or because I tried so hard to be positive. Fail?
Discouraged, but willing- I welcome day 3 of my love dare.
Day 3
Love is not selfish
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. —Romans 12:10
The Dare
Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking about you today."
These words remind me of the Elton John ballad, "Your Song." The lyrics are simple, sweet, and genuine. Just like that song, this dare is simple and sincere.
Forever love,
-A
Friday, August 3, 2012
Love Dare Day 2
I would like to say, proclaim, that I have not said anything negative to Garth- yet today (patting myself on the back). It is still early. But, I did wake up this morning with a little bit more pep in my step. I think instead of treading water, I almost had the energy to swim laps. Remember, it is still early. Anything can happen. But I have only cried twice today. Not too shabby. So, with that, its time to move on to day two of my little love challenge.
Day 2
Love is Kind
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32
The Dare
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Peace, love, and forgiveness...
-A
Day 2
Love is Kind
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32
The Dare
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Peace, love, and forgiveness...
-A
Thursday, August 2, 2012
The Insane Love Dare
I woke up today surprised to find my head still above water. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely treading water, but I haven't sunk yet. After breakfast, insane cardio yoga, lunch time, and nap time, it was time to review my research on the application of therapeutic hypothermia and its benefits in the treatment of anoxic brain injury. Interested? I didn't think you cared. Oh and, I had to make time for G and his needs, take a shower, run errands, and battle my own personal demons, feelings, and heartaches.
After a few hundred calls to and from my mom to talk, cry, yell, and cry some more, I found myself laying in my bed, wet, draped in a towel, hair dripping, and crying. Crying because I am scared. Scared of life. Scared of failure. Scared of honesty. Scared of being scared. All I wanted was G to lay next to me and hold me. But, the chaos of our life swept us away from each other. Me left in my bath towel, my feelings being held inside, and him grabbing a snack for Lucy and heading out the door for a jog.
In a foggy haze, consumed by frustration, I found myself staring at my bookshelf in the basement- a collection of some of my favorite things: books with pictures and love letters pressed between the pages. It was at that moment that I decided to take all of my vulnerability and apply it to something useful and productive. Kind of like my research involving therapeutic hypothermia. So, I decided to challenge myself, again, to something called the Love Dare.
The Love Dare is a beautiful sentiment. A re-commitment to love, communication, and a future of happiness. It is a 40 day devotional, daily affirmation, inspiration, and support guide through strenghening love in a marriage. So, while I was staring at pictures and love letters, I decided to make a commitment to my marriage. I am hoping that with a strong marriage, I can stop treading water. Even though I believe my marriage to be strong. Can it be stronger? Can you always strive to be better?
I believe that I am one of the luckiest women alive. My husband is patient. And he deals with me and all of my insanity (no pun intended). He is a wonderful companion. Father. And friend. I am the problem. I am inpatient. Insane. Quick to react. Quick to yell. Quick to throw things. And quick to shut down. And all of these qualities create fear that one day he will be sick of my shit and leave. And if he leaves, who will open the pickle jar for me? Or mow the lawn?
I need to be a better companion. A better, calmer, kinder, more effective communicator. I need to show him how much I appreciate him. I need to be better.
So. Here goes. The Love Dare. You with me? Lets take this journey together. Its going be 40 challenging, but fulfilling days, but I am hoping that in the end my life will be calmer. My marriage even stronger. And I will find peace.
Come on. I dare you.
Day 1
Love is Patient
Be completely humble and gentile; be patient, bearing with one another in love. -Ephesians 4:2
The Dare:
Our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose to say nothing at all. Its better to hold your tongue than to say something you will regret.
Okay friends. I wish you well. I wish you love.
-A
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Insanity Day 9
I successfully survived week one of my INSANITY workout regime. I am even adapting to, dealing with, and conforming to the INSANE diet that comes with it. So, every morning my alarm clock goes off at 5 am, sometimes earlier. And my days are filled with protein shakes and high protein meals. I am officially an exhausted, insane, carnivore with aching muscles.
Despite getting control of my body, my diet, and my schedule each day, I seem to have lost control of everything else.
I have a research project due, papers to write, a house to pack and move, kids to raise, and a husband to satisfy. I am more tearful than I think I have ever been. I am tearful over stress, over fear, over frustration.
My tears are sporadic, and sometimes unwarranted. Sometimes they are even ridiculous. I know that I should be thankful. So much in my life is amazing. I am appreciative. I am aware of my good fortune. But, I still feel out of control.
Out of control being a parent, step-parent, mother, daughter, friend. I want to be everything to everyone. I want to make my parents proud. My husband happy. My kids great. Myself at peace.
Remember the movie Titanic? The one with Leo and Kate? You know, "I'm the king of the world!!!"
Well, there is a part in the movie when Rose (Kate) is sharing her feelings of being overwhelmed with Jack (Leo) when she says,
"All the while I feel like am I standing in a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs an no one even looks up and the inertia of my life plunging ahead and me powerless to stop it."
I can relate. Only I feel committed. Committed to that inertia.
I know there is no manual for life like there is for my workouts and my diet. But it would be nice if I could refer to a parental guide to help me cope with teenagers who don't do chores, talk back, and hurt my feelings. Or how to find the energy to romance my husband at night. Or how to read my parents minds- to see what they think, to see how they feel. Or how to calm my soul.
I may be insane. But, like I said- I am committed. I will never give up. I just hope that my family sticks with me. Holds my hand. Loves me. Because, I love them. They are my reason for breathing. For trying to be better.
Wish me luck. I have 51 more insane days ahead of me. And then a lifetime.
I would post before and after pictures. You know, of my transformation. But I have some dignity. And besides, how do you photograph an insane carnivore anyways?
Stay tuned,
-A
Despite getting control of my body, my diet, and my schedule each day, I seem to have lost control of everything else.
I have a research project due, papers to write, a house to pack and move, kids to raise, and a husband to satisfy. I am more tearful than I think I have ever been. I am tearful over stress, over fear, over frustration.
My tears are sporadic, and sometimes unwarranted. Sometimes they are even ridiculous. I know that I should be thankful. So much in my life is amazing. I am appreciative. I am aware of my good fortune. But, I still feel out of control.
Out of control being a parent, step-parent, mother, daughter, friend. I want to be everything to everyone. I want to make my parents proud. My husband happy. My kids great. Myself at peace.
Remember the movie Titanic? The one with Leo and Kate? You know, "I'm the king of the world!!!"
Well, there is a part in the movie when Rose (Kate) is sharing her feelings of being overwhelmed with Jack (Leo) when she says,
"All the while I feel like am I standing in a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs an no one even looks up and the inertia of my life plunging ahead and me powerless to stop it."
I can relate. Only I feel committed. Committed to that inertia.
I know there is no manual for life like there is for my workouts and my diet. But it would be nice if I could refer to a parental guide to help me cope with teenagers who don't do chores, talk back, and hurt my feelings. Or how to find the energy to romance my husband at night. Or how to read my parents minds- to see what they think, to see how they feel. Or how to calm my soul.
I may be insane. But, like I said- I am committed. I will never give up. I just hope that my family sticks with me. Holds my hand. Loves me. Because, I love them. They are my reason for breathing. For trying to be better.
Wish me luck. I have 51 more insane days ahead of me. And then a lifetime.
I would post before and after pictures. You know, of my transformation. But I have some dignity. And besides, how do you photograph an insane carnivore anyways?
Stay tuned,
-A
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| Thank you Facebook. For summing it all up in a picture. |
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